OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010305/WLURG39_RTP_20010305_001.2.txt C,’2._.. U112 iliing-tum Iflliftt” WASHINGTON AND LEE UNIvERsITY’s WEEKLY NEWSPAPER at-*«vv' ‘A ~~"”tf. .:‘" .. ‘ aw.-..» ‘i -3 '--’—‘=¢- ‘v-‘Ml- . ‘frag ‘Q0, VOLUME 103, No. 21 LEXINGTON, VIRGINIA 24450 MONDAY, MARCH 5, 2001 Y ‘SAC hosts _ alcohol forum By Michelle Lally STA FF WRITER .( The Student Affairs Committee hosted a forum discus- sion Wednesday evening to address the University’s more comprehensive alcohol policies. Nine students, four professors and two Health Services workers attended the forum. Many of the students who '’ attended the meeting hold leadership positions on various student committees. The Executive Committee, Student Ju- dicial Committee, Interfraternity Council, Panhellenic Coun- cil and Students’ Rights Committee were all represented. g Dean of Students David Howison led students and fac- ulty in discussing initiatives ‘intended to reduce what he referred to as “high risk drinking behavior.” These proposals include a single-sanction one-year sus- M pension for a DUI and parental notification of alcohol-re- ”‘ lated arrests for repeat offenders. Members of the forum also discussed providing alternative social events, limiting the role of hard liquor and managing fraternity parties. Students offered many suggestions to improve the ef- .‘ fectiveness of Live Drive and Safe Ride, such as posting L the routes of the University vans, registering off-campus parties to be included on Safe Ride routes and extending Live Drive hours. In efforts to adhere to Virginia laws on the consump- "» tion and distribution of alcohol, EC President senior John Cornly suggested that seniors rather than sophomores live ‘in fraternity houses. The idea received overwhelming sup- port from the faculty and staff in attendance. Howison ,‘ noted that liability would decrease drastically if the houses were inhabited by men of legal drinking age. Howison said this plan would shift the balance of power in the fraternity houses. “Seniors and juniors would be responsible for running < their fraternity, thereby creating a stronger fraternity sys- tem,” Howison said. Howison, who supports the resolution, said he intended to draw up the proposal immediately and begin the ap- ‘ proval process in order to enact the plan by the 2002-2003 school year. Students present at the meeting also supported the idea. “It would be a lot of fun to live with my friends senior year,” said Alcohol Task Force co-Chair.W"Ill Cotfman, a sophomore. R IFC President senior Andy Robinson agreed. “It’s the easiest solution [and] a painless way to gain ground,” Robinson said. Participants also discussed various ways to reduce the role of alcohol at W&L events, including cocktail par- ties, alumni functions and tailgates. Howison expressed disappointment at the poor stu- dent turnout and announced his intention of holding a second, follow-up forum discussion in the next few weeks I, in which he hopes to get more student feedback. Howison said the University’s focus on reducing alco- hol consumption is a long-terrn project. “We’re continually looking for ways to solve this prob- lem,” said Howison. Campus readies for phoo by Eric Wehtler/Sff Photographer 2001 Fancy Dress festivities By Latrina Stokes STAFF WRITER Gearing up for Fancy Dress activities, the Stu- dent Activities Board re- leased the name of the band scheduled to per- form at the March 22 FD concert. Funky Meters, origi- nally known as The Meters, plays a mix of funk, dance and blues. The band has toured with the Dave Mathews Band and other popular musical artists, including The Roll- ing Stones. Funky Meters formed in 1967 under the direction of Art Neville, Jr., who plays piano and provides vocals. George Porter, Jr., plays the bass guitar and Brian Stoltz plays the guitar; both also sing. Russell Batiste, Jr., plays the drums. When learning of SAB’s choice, many students said photo Courtesy of SAB MUSIC AND DANCE: (top) students take dance lessons preparing for the ball; (above) the Funky Meters will play at the concert. that they had never heard of the band. Funky Meters is just “another no-name band,” junior Gary Davis said. Freshman Lisa Sauer was also not pleased. “I want a band that ev- eryone likes,” Sauer said. Sophomore Rich Braund is one of the few who does know the band’s style. "They have a jazz, funk, improv style — really improv,” he said. Because he listens to this type of music. he said he would attend the concert. Despite being unfamiliar with the band, several stu- dents interviewed said that they would attend the con- cert. Davis said he would consider going since he has heard that Funky Meters plays diverse music. Freshmen Melanie Barr and Marinda Harrell said that they would attend “be- cause the alternatives are too depressing.” SAB members sug- gested several bands and selected the Funky Meters based on sound and availability. “For this concert we were looking for a high energy band,” said SAB President senior Crystal Simpson. “I know not everyone knows their sound,” Simpson said. She said Funky Meters has a sound like George Clinton & The P-Funk All Stars,"‘buf the band goes even further back to the beginnings of funk. Simpson plans to ad- vertise the band’s style by playing their music at the Co-op and on WLUR. ‘ Talking to people who have attended the band’s concerts convinced her that the show will be exciting. SEE ‘FD,’ PAGE 2 Soccer nets funds for breast cancer Ben Stein to share “insight” Political pundit, game show host to speak a By Mike Agnello ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR Ben Stein, host of Comedy Central’s “Win Ben Stein’s Money,” will bring his famous dry voice and sense of humor to Washington and Lee. Stein, also host of “Tum Ben Stein On” will speak on Tuesday, March 27 at 7:30 p.m. in Lee Chapel. His lecture is sponsored by Contact and the Young Americas Foun- dation, a conservative organization that helps students bring speakers to campus. Stein, a noted actor, comedian, author, and conservative political commentator, will give a lecture titled “Win Ben Stein’s Insight.” Due to his varied professional background, the content of his lecture is still unknown. Besides his current job as a game show host, Stein has a diverse background in politics and entertainment. After graduating as Valedictorian of his Yale Law School class in 1970, Stein worked as a poverty lawyer and a trial law- yer in trade regulation. He taught courses in politics and the media and libel law at Pepperdine University. From 1973-74, he wrote speeches for Richard Nixon, and later for Gerald Ford. Stein insists he did not write the line, “I am not a crook.” Contact Committee member senior Philip Wright was the primary force behind bringing Stein to campus. Wright first heard Stein speak in Washington, D.C. while he was a congressional intern. Wright said Stein is coming out of his way to speak at W&L because he recently completed a book on Robert E. Lee. He also said Stein will give a great lecture. “I thought he was engaging, and he connects well with young people,” Wright said. “We’re excited.” photo courtesy of Contat BUELLER, BUELLER? Ben Stein will speak in, Lee Chapel. “' W&L tournament aids y-American Cancer ,, Society’s research By Amy Blevins STAFF WRITER A little initiative and planning produced big I‘ results this Saturday and Sunday for cancer pa- tients across the nation when a soccer tourna- ment plarmed by freshman Rahrneen Farudi raised over $10()() for the American Cancer Society. The ‘ proceeds from the tournament will go to fund breast cancer research. Farudi obtained permission from the Ameri- can Cancer Society to use its name when rais- ing money for its foundation. T‘ Fourteen co—ed teams of about seven play- ers each played over the weekend following IM indoor soccer rules. Each team was guar- anteed two games in the tournament. ‘I Freshmen Sustin Leggans and Matt Lafkas refereed. “I love soccer and [the tournament] was a good idea,” said Laflcas. The tournament “came together easily,” ,‘ Katkas said. i Lafkas agreed. “We got the court easily,” Lafkas said. “I was personally worried about teams, but sud- denly we had about 12 teams.” On Saturday, teams Chi Psi, Phi Kappa Sigma, Lafkas, and Bebona won their desig- nated brackets. Phi Kappa Sigma defeated Bebona in sud- den-death overtime 2-1 the playoffs Sunday. The winners received T—shirts and a Willson- Walker House gift certificate. The charity fundraiser brought groups from all over campus to participate. “It’s for a good cause,” said sophomore John Wright. “I’ve had relatives die of cancer.” The Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity made par- ticipation in the tournament part of pledgeship. “Wejust wanted to make sure, since this is a charity event, that we participated,” said Sig Epjuniorleremy Kirkland. “And one way we can ensure doing that is making it part of pledgeship.” The fundraising has personal meaning for Farudi. “I started the tournament because recently my family and I found out that [my] mother has breast cancer and I wanted to do something to help,” Farudi said. “It has been really hard for —me over the past several weeks, and I don’t want anyone to have to experience what I have seen my mom go through.” photo by Mary Guy/ Photo Editor FEET WORK. Senior Shana Levine dribbles a soccer ball along the Pavilion wall as freshman Bret Grote contains her. :1 Ellie fling-tum Iflltt March 5, 2001 T emptatiri of will pow Truc: r’s paradise: p to the plate: A '0 ps Emory and H ryfiito tip" ’ ODAC OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010305/WLURG39_RTP_20010305_002.2.txt (E112 filing-tum ilflhi NEWS 14‘ Lenfest Series presents John Amos in “Halley’s Comet” The Lenfest Series at Washington and Lee Uni- versity will present the award—winning John Amos in “Halley’s Comet” on March 8, at 8 p.m. Amos won an as Kunta Kinte in the Roots miniseries. He starred as James Evans, the father in the television sitcom Good Times. He played oppo- site Eddie Murphy in Coming to America and co- strred with Bruce Willis in Die Hard II. “Halley’s Comet” is a comedy about an 87-year old man who shares his lifetime memories from the time he last saw the comet 76 years earlier. Bookstore sponsors essay contest in honor of Women’s History Month Entries should attempt to answer the question “What QQ Women Want?” Essays should be approxi- mately 500 words long. The first prize winner receives a $50 gift certificate. The second prize entry wins a $25 gift certificate. Submissions should have a sepa- rate title page. W&L Dining Service to Host International Food Show W&L Dining Services will host its sixth annual food show on March 6, from 1 1:30 a.m. to 1:15 p.m. Over 24 vendors will display their products, with offerings ranging from apples to zucchini. Dining ser- vices will also raffle off a DVD player, a CD burner, an MP3 recorder, a TV, a Palm Pilot, and a Play Station II. The meal will cost one meal swipe on the University Card. 7:30 p.m.— Campaign Program. “Reflections on the 2000 Presidential Campaign,” Mike Allen ’86 and David Pace (W&L parent). Lee Chapel. 8:00 p.m.— The “Mass in B minor” Lenfest Center. the Rockbridge Choral Society, W&L Chamber Singers, Rockbridge Chamber Singers, six soloists and a 30-piece orchestra. Tuesday 8:00 p.m. - “Mass in B minor.” Wednesday George Washington Honor Scholarship Competition 7200 p.m. — Politics Filmfest. “Wall Street,” Room 221, Williams School. Thursday George Washington Honor Scholarship Competition Phi Beta Kappa Convocation (Adjusted Class Schedule) photo by Mary Guyl Photo Editr Jon WELL DoNE.‘Marion Heard, director of the Boston United Way, delivers the Friday afternoon speech that closed the “Dream a Dream, Read a Book” Literacy Drive. — P/11' or die! Join IE: university newspaper! . Meetings every Tuesday at 7:00 p.m., . theme is based on something that’s already fun.” -’ p University Center room 208.’ MARCH 5, 2001: V (FD? FROM PAGE 1} “They’re saying if you give them a shot, you could appreciate them *7 in retrospect,” Simpson said. ‘ The band’s style will compliment this year’s FD theme to be re- vealed Wednesday. ‘ Senior Christine van den Toom, who chairs the advertising sub- ‘ committee of the FD steering committee, said she was excited about ‘ this year’s theme. “The theme is great. It’s really bright and colorful,” she said. “The Van den Toom said that the entire campus will be decorated with teasers about the theme. , The FD committee kicks off this year’s theme with a raffle in front of the Co—op. Tickets will cost $10 for five. Memorabilia from past balls will also be on sale. ' Tickets for Funky Meters go on sale a week before FD. They cost? $15 for the W&L community and $20 for the general public. The"Wallers and Kings of Swing bands will play at -the Fancy; Dress ball. ‘ OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010305/WLURG39_RTP_20010305_003.2.txt Ooh: iamg-tum aim MARCH 5, 2001 ‘Reality TV ‘doesn’t bite PAGE 3 4 Students have been postponing their Wednesday night time of departure in order to cater to one of the latest in reality based television: Temptation Island. Every Wednes- day, from 9 p.m. to 10 p.m., every phone in our apartment gets switched to DND. Should someone make the mistake of opening her mouth —v“I just contracted a terminal dis- ease”—vshe is immediately quieted, usually with a ham- mer thrown at her head. And thus is the great folly of our culture: I can watch people hook up at a sketchy late night Q DJ party, but I’d rather sit in front of the TV to do it. I can ridicule the whole mild version of The Truman Show ‘til I’m blue in the face, but it’s like admitting to buying a Spice Girls CD or something. I’ve never met anyone who liked them, but they still somehow managed to sell mil- V lions of albums. I’ll be brave. I got addicted to the show. I didn’t actually get into the whole Temptation Island craze until roughly three episodes from the final one. And it was hard for me to watch because it makes my head . spin; I can never keep track of who are the tempters, who are the boyfriends, who are the temptresses, and who are the girlfriends. But what confuses me the most is the whole premise of the show. “Hey, honey? Is it cool if we go to an island and I can hook up with beautiful girls while you go scuba diving with handsome men?” “Hmm . . . let me think about it.” “lt’1l be televised on national TV, too.” “Well . . . ” “Don’t worry. You can watch my transgressions, if you want, on a portable TV set and he has blue eyes, and he looks good in unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts. Yet this all just made me realize my love for you.” “Me, too! Let’s stay together!” I couldn’t help but wonder if Mark —— the blue polo, khaki shorts, and birkenstock—clad host — was somewhat disappointed by the entire conclu- your rejected, disappointed, and hopelessly pathetic reactions can be visible to the entire viewing nation.” S sion. Not to mention the producers. Which brings me to the issue of re- ality—based television shows as a “Cool. When do we leave?” Not only can I not understand what girlfriend would continue seeing a guy who would ask her to do that, but it baffles me that all three couples actually stayed together in the end. “I’ve made some very intimate connections, both physi- cally and emotionally, with the temptresses.” “Yes, I’ve met a guy who is wonderful. He can swim, LETTERS To THE EDITOR Women’s studies article was misleading Dear Editor, On Feb. 12, the Ring-tum Phi published a misleading article by Katie Howell entitled “Women’s studies pro- gram established.” The faculty did recently approve a Women’s Studies concentration. The article, however, conflates Women’s Studies with a completely separate, extracurricular program promoting women and leadership. Ms. Howell thereby misrepresents both enterprises and propagates several factual errors. The article’s most egre- gious mistake is to suggest that Women’s Studies will be an exclu ive program limited to few students; Professor Stewart, in fact, informed the reporter that this was false before press time. The major inaccuracies are as follows: 1. Washington and Lee’s new concentration in Women’s Studies is not modeled primarily after the paral- lel program at the University of Richmond. We examined curricula from many institutions, including the University of Richmond, synthesizing the elements most appropriate . whole. (I swear, I am like an episode of The Simpsons. My articles never get to the point until halfway done.) As much as the notion of watching people get up in the morning, fight about who drank the last of the or- ange juice, or wrestle with diversity issues confounds me, I am definitely a reality-TV junkie. I am chemically dependent on Real World drama. My favorite part of Survivor is the tribal meeting wh;::n they vote someone. off. (“Sorry, Kal, I love you. i’ou.’re the light of my life. But I don’t want to be on the same island as you.”) My entire apartment erupts into laughter watching people freak out at flickering lights on MTV’s new show Fear. Nothing is more compelling than watching a motley crew of aesthetically—pleasing people (with the required deeply rooted emotional issues) somehow screw up living in the garden of Eden. How can anyone be unhappy living in the Real World Hawaii house? But they are. It speaks volumes about the human condition that we thrive on the non-fictional entertainment of watching people screw up a utopia. Or maybe I am just trying to justify my ad- dictions to these shows that are even stronger than my addictions to Mello Yello. I can only hope that my fasci- nations with the aforementioned programs are just an- other form of work procrastination, and not a reflection of an abnormal psychological condition. Dean Schroer-Lamont, however, is developing a women and leadership program based on the WILL program at that university. We admire her efforts but must emphasize that the academic concentration we proposed stands alone, and doeslnot contain a “leadership area.” 2. Women’s Studies will not be taught solely by “fe— male faculty.” Any student completing this concentration will undertake an introductory course and a capstone semi- nar or thesis conducted by various faculty; students will ' also pursue relevant preexisting courses in a range of dis- ciplines. Courses offered currently or in the past by Pro- fessors Novack (Male and Female Roles in Society) and Velasquez (Nature of Woman and the Art of Politics), for instance, would fit the bill. 3. Dean Schroer-Lamont may suggest that students involved in Knowledge Empowering Women Leaders reg- ister for credits in Women’s Studies, but we know very little about this organization nor how it “suppoit[s]” the Women’s Studies program. 4. Most importantly, the concentration will welcome all interested students, male and female. Dean Schroer-Lamont may plan to build her separate program “one small group at A message to the student body Dear Editor, ‘ Last September, we wrote toall students about the new alcohol and drug laws in the United States and the Commonwealth of Virginia. As we return from Washington break, we want to reiterate the message we sent last term. The Commonwealth of Virginia adopted a new DUI law that requires a mandatory five-day jail term for an individual convicted of DUI with a blood al- cohol level of 0.20 — 0.25. If the BAC is over 0.25, a ten—day jail term is mandated. Federal law has imposed severe penalties for pos- session of the so-called “date rape” drugs. Any person who knowingly manufactures, sells, gives, distributes, or possesses with the intent to distrib- ute gamma—butyrolactone or butanediol, when in- tended for human consumption, shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony. A Class 3 felony carries a penalty of not less than five years nor more than twenty years of imprisonment, and a fine of up to $100,000. Also, Christine Metzger Y to our needs and resources. atime,”but the academic concentration, like any academic the emergence of “Club Drugs” such as Ecstasy majororprogram, eagerly seeks wide participation. combined with national surveys that indicate in- , _ - On the aftemoon of Sunday the 11th, Ms. Howell left creased drug use among young people have raised messages with each of us. Professor Stewart actually new concerns. Ecstasy is a Schedule 1 drug and V reached Ms. Howell a couple of hours later and corrected possession carries a penalty ranging from 12 months her confusion about the two programs. Your reporter in jail/$2500 fine to one to ten years in jail if the E"“"""" Ed”"" Emfly B_a'“°_s tacked on a quote but did not rewrite the piece, as new case goes to a jury. ' Stephanie Bianco .nf . 1 1 d d W f dl d. Th . f h h Id k _ News Edmm Mm Mcnermott l orination c eary man ate . e are pro oun y is— ere is one act t at everyone s ou now. Max smith mayed that any student would submit material that she W&L is not a sanctuary from the law. Since 1996, It Assistant News 541"" Mike Agnello knew to be wrong for publication, especially on the front eleven W&L students have been arrested by local 0pi"i°" E‘“’°’ Ta” Am‘ F”°d°' page of an influential student newspaper. We are also authorities and charged with felony drug crimes. Assistant Opinion Editor Brett Kirwan di b Id C H S f . . W&Llfe Editor Alexis Yee_Gama _stur ed that a reporter wou Contact ounse rig 'er- The consequences or these students and their fami- Sports Editor Jeremy Franklin vices about an academic program. Women’s Studies is a lies and friends have been severe. Immediate with- Last W074 E470’ Bryan Eafly rigorous discipline with a significant institutional and drawals, suspensions, denials of graduation‘, ruined ‘ _ C0,” Ed‘,"” KT“ P°"'“a_ scholarly history, and does not emanate from Counseling careers, plus the high cost of legal defenses. Most Contributing Editor Michael Crittenden . . . Photo Editor Mary Guy Services;would anyone make aparallel assumption about of these arrests occurred at the end of the academic Sygfi Photographer Eric wechuer Environmental Studies or Medic val and Renaissance Stud— year, during the Winter or Spring Terms. . ies? We hope that this unfortunate article does not dis— If you are struggling with alcohol or drug prob- ! _B“"”‘_“ M‘f"“3" Pm“ §°‘f°” . courage student involvement in what should be an excit— lems, seek assistance from our excellent Health Cen- Clmdanon Director Charm Tone"! ing new interdisciplinary opportunity ter staff or counseling psychologists The Ring-tum Phi is published Mondays during the Sincerely, SHICCTCIY, . undergraduate school year at Washington and Lee Lesley Wheeler, Associate Professor of English John Comly, President of the Student Body , University, Lexington, Virginia- The Washington and Lee Jeanine Stewart, Associate Professor of Psychology Jordan Ginsberg, Chair of the Student Judicial Council ’‘ Publicaiions Board elects the EXCCWVC Editor, but The Domnica Radulescu, Assoc. Prof. of Romance Languages David Howison, Dean of Students Ring-tum Phi is otherwise independent. The Ring-tum Phi welcomes all responsible . . submissions and letters. All submissions must be in the O 4 ALKback. hat did you do over F‘ Break? ‘ on Friday to appear in the following week’s edition. The Ring-tum Phi reserves the right to edit submissions for content and length. Letters and columns do not reflect the opinion of The Ring-tum Phi Editorial Board. , Advertising does not reflect the opinions of The Ring- ’ tum Phi or its staff. This newspaper observes current court definitions of libel and obscenity. The Ring-tum Phi 208 University Center )1; Washington and Lee University Lexington, VA 24450 Telephone: (540) 462-4060 Advertising Office: (540) 462-4049 Fax: (540) 462-4059 E-mail: phi@wlu.edu " " 1 http://wlu.edu/~phi “I went to the Harvard “I had good food, got a lot of sleep, “I had a blast at Mardi Gras.” “Went golfing in Florida with A 1 b ‘ ' - $30 Model UN in Boston.” and had a blast with my firends.” -Maitena Moure ’04 the golfteam.” ""““ 3“ “‘‘’‘'°“ ”‘°' -MegFerrara’04 —SahirKhanna’04 —BurrDatz‘75 V OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010305/WLURG39_RTP_20010305_004.2.txt PAGE 4 C) @112 Tiling-tum lflhi PINION MARCH 5, 2001 _ War on drugs saves society Vlfrth the success of the movie Traf- fic, there has been much discussion on the merits of the Drug War and drug legalization. In his address, Gen. Barry McCaffrey detailed the horrors that drugs inflict on those who use them and advocated an approach of fierce enforcement coupled with treatment of addiction. Many challenge the moral- ity, efficacy, and sensibility of his plan to continue the struggle to eradicate or even significantly reduce drug use. What exactly have we gotten from hun- dreds of billions of dollars and decades of concerted effort besides a decrease in our liberties? A I question this call for a total and unconditional surrender. Conservatism has been defined as a belief that human nature has no history. In other words, humans are in great need of traditions and institutions that moderate our na- ture and perpetuate civilization. Some elements of society are so pernicious, corrupting, and evil that civil society turns to government to regulate them. Drug abuse is such a problem. Where would legalization leave us? Those who advocate it claim that if drugs were sold by reputable dealers, photo by Mary Guy/Photo Editor DRUG WARRING. During his Contact address, McCaffrey discusses strategies to reduce drug abuse. make no argument against age restric- tions because children are not yet ratio- nal actors. Tragically, this is the case for every drug consumer. As McCaffrey noted, there are psychoactive sub- they Would be stances which safer and could - - change the chem- be med by the Right of the Aisle My of 0116.5 government. In Brett K11-wan ’()4 brain and negate addition, the so- cial stigma attached with drug use would be a much more effective method of reducing drug use than government prohibition has ever been. The gov- ernment would have a role treating addicts. This faith in the free market demands that consumers be free to make decisions concerning what they consume. Unfortunately, this rosy scenario isn’t very realistic. First of all, should drugs be legalized and sold by “repu— table” dealers with drug use taxed, and in effect sanctioned, by the govem— ment, how does that serve to create a social stigma? 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Advocates of legalization either are deluded or simply don’t care that more people will become addicted. Finally, advocacy of the Euro- pean model wherein addicts simply be- come wards of the state upon hitting bot- tom is fraught with error. Our govem- ment has no place rtmning a welfare sys- tem for junkies. The faults of drug legalization in no way mean that the Drug War is perfect either. Marijuana probably should be le- galized. It is not physically addicting, nor are its effects that severe. Also, the govemment’s policy needs to be altered to include a greater respect for the rights accorded to citizens by the Fourth Amendment. 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Read them carefully before you invest. - l'lAA-CREF Individual and Institutional Services, Inc. and Teachers Personal Investors Services, Inc. distribute securities products. 0 Teachers Insurance and Annuity Association (T IAA), New York, NY and TIAA—CREF Life Insurance Co., New York, NY issue insurance and annuities. - TIAA—CREF Trust Company, FSB provides trust services. - Investment products are not FDIC insured, may lose value and are not bank guaranteed. © 2001 Teachers Insurance and Annuity Association—Co||ege Retirement Equities Fund, New York, NY OI/04 Undergraduate Admissions Counselor fa The Washington and Lee Undergraduate Office of Admis- sions wishes to announce a possible opening for the positionif of Admissions Counselor. Responsibilities include: student interviews, application evaluation, and recruitment travel. Strong communication skills and demonstrated organiza- Na tional abilities are expected. The successful candidate will _. be both willing and able to work as part of a highly success- ful admissions team, yet capable of creative self-direction. if Bachelor’s degree is required, as is a valid driver’s license. All interested candidates should submit a cover letter and V \ resume, including two references, no later than Friday, March 16, 2001. All materials should be sent to: y Julia M. Kozak Associate Dean of Admissions Office of Admissions at Lexington, VA 24450 CAMP COUNSELORS Summer In New England! Have fun. Make A Difference. Camp Greylock & Romaca seek caring, energetic counselors and coaches. Co-ed staffs, competitive salaries + room & board. Internships are available. Located in the Berkshire Mountains of Massachusetts, 2.5 hours from Boston and NYC. Archery, Baseball, Basketba||,_Climblng Wall, Creative Arts, Drama, Football, Golf, Gymnastics, Hiking, lnline-Hockey, Lacrosse, Mountain Biking, Sailing, Soccer, Softball, Swimming, Tennis, Volleyball, Waterskiing, plus nursing and administrative positions. Camp Greylock for Boys: Camp Romaca for Girls: 888-2-romaca 1-800-842-5214 . l www_camQromaCa_c0m www.campgreyIock.com OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010305/WLURG39_RTP_20010305_005.2.txt MARCH 5, 2001 8 IE: Itltng-tum ifilri W eezer, ()zma, Get up Kids ‘ ‘Sell Out’ ’ By Heather McDonald 4 STAFF WRITER It was everyone’s anthem my freshman year of high school: “If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away.” Ev- ‘-:ryone had the words memorized and every- ne quoted it as the true, deep, insightful lyric that we thought it was. Some of us adventur- ous types even bought the entire “blue” al- bum, as it is known, and memorized all the Qlrics after that. Suddenly a band defined the “trendy- geeky” blend that was emblematic of the early 1990s underground style, making all high school outcasts as cool as, well, Buddy Holly and Mary Tyler Moore. V I was one of the lucky few to experience geek—rock nirvana for three hours on Friday night. Weezer, emo/indie—pop/punk band The ’ Get Up Kids (who, may I say, rocked so damn fiard it hurt) and the up-and—coming Los An- geles band Ozma, played a sold-out show at American University’s Bender Arena. Al- though my friends and I drove over three hours to get there, the car ride was worth it, Even just to see Ozma and The Get Up Kids. Ozma is a power—pop-rock band of young college students (who are old friends of illus- trious Washington and Lee senior Matt errnan) that rocked out with originals dem- onstrating witty and insightful lyrics, A hummable melodies, and rockstar chords that made even the most jaded Weezer junkies around us bob their heads. ‘« The minute Ozma left the stage to make room for The Get Up Kids, people in the stands practically rushed the floor, and I found myself unable to breathe. The crowd yas ravenous, with small mosh pits breaking out only to be stopped by the crush of more fans packing themselves onto the main floor. In addition to great punky-pop and bitter- sweet emo lyrics, The Get Up Kids had the l§est stage presence out of the three bands. They talked to the crowd, wished their roadie and keyboard player happy birthday (and even gave them 35 E-chords instead of 35 lashes for luck). ready for the mucho—hyped Weezer experi- ence. The key words there were mucho- hyped. Weezer took far too long setting up, making fans progressively more grouchy. They played some songs, told fans to go buy the autographed CDs they had at the merchandise tables, and finished up the set. While they did play all the necessary favor- ite songs that provoke thousands of fans to shout lyrics back to the band, Weezer also played three disappointing songs off the upcoming CD. - The stage was fun: two monitors as basket- ball hoop backboards, mini-volleyball nets as backdrops, and a huge “W” (complete with the Weezer—wings) in red, white and blue lights. show — just like a high school dance! Unfortu- nately, merchandise was expensive, which is dis- appointing to see with a band that has as loyal fans — hell, I’d go as far as to describe them as geek—rock cult members — as Weezer does. All the tickets were sold on Yahoo!. This tour is the first ever consistently to sell out solely on the Internet. I’m not sure if that was the cause for Weezer’s titling of the “Sell Out tour,” or if they titled it for their unexcited at- titudes on stage — denying the love of the worn-out and war—tom audience. For a medium-sized venue, this show had all the makings of the original Lollapallooza or HFS—tival. I saw at least three people, corn- pletely unconscious, passed forward and courtesy www.weezer.net INDIE ROCK ALERT. Members of the Weezer cult should leave their sweaters at home for Weezer’s “Sell Out” tour. came on, the crowd was starting to tire, al- though in a blissful, sweaty, I’ve—reached- geek—rock nirvana way. I would have made the journey simply to see the two opening hands because I enjoyed them that much, which is often a rare occurrence with lesser- known opening bands. Honestly, Weezer left me wanting more, and not in a good way. They lacked the chutzpah I expected from their music and image. Nonethe- less, it was a rockstar show and Icouldn’t irnag— ine a better way to spend a Friday night. Two of my friends - being in the Weezer cult — were in utter awe of the experience, so maybe I missed something. Whether or not Weezer had the spirit I expected, I got to see Weezer, The wd was Get Up Kids and Ozma in a sold-out show! There was even a confetti-drop at the end of the pulled out by security. By the time Weezer Study Outside Next Semester The Castle Rock Institute sponsors an off-campus study program that combines coursework in religion, philosophy, literature and art: with baekp asking, climbing, biking and paddling. When they left the stage, the cro - A B‘. Limited space available for the Fall 2001 session: Aug. 27 -Dec. 10 ’Visit the CRT website to request an appifitatzion. astle Rock Institute PO. Box 792, Brevard, NC 28712 .828-862-3759 wwW.cas1:le - rock.org T AT .73’. X 6 IS Kz4RA(9/CENIGHT. If You HAVEN’T BEEN HERE You DON’T KNOW WHAT Y0u’VE BEEN MISSING! 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Sophomore Bobby Littlehale drove in the garne- winning run on a ninth inning single, and sophomore co—captain Michael Hanson led W&L with a _3—for—4 per- formance at the plate. Coach Jeff Stickley’s squad also won three games in two days from Muhlenberg. On Feb. 24, pitching car- ried the day for the Generals. Senior co-captain David Sigler and freshman Dan Kagey each tossed shutouts in 8-0 and 1-0 victories. Muhlenberg only tallied four hits on the day. The following day, W&L posted a 9-5 victory over the Mules. Hanson led the Generals as he tied the school record for hits in a game, going 5-for- 5. Littlehale and sophomore Brian Gladysz each homered in the victory. photo by Mary Guy/Photo Editor CONTACT. Sophomore Kyle Droppers connects against Villa Julie in the Generals’ 3-1 win at home on 'l1iesday. W&L’s only defeat over the break came at the hands of Emory. The Generals left 17 runners stranded, including leaving the bases loaded in both the fifth and seventh innings ofa 10-3 loss. Luckily, due to a 3-0 week follow- ing the break, that defeat has remained the team’s sole loss on the season. Freshman pitcher Peter Dean pitched a solid game, allowing only four hits and one earned run to beat Villa Julie 3-1 on Tuesday after- noon. Classmate Bryan Mulhern pitched the last two innings to wrap up the save. W&L struck quickly, taking a 1-0 lead when Gladysz drove in Upcoming events in Washington and Lee athletics Littlehale on a first inning single. Dean got all the run support he would need when sophomore Kyle Droppers singled home junior Matt Kozora in the third inning, giving the Generals a 2-0 lead. Early run support helped the Generals in a doubleheader sweep of Emory and Henry to open con- ference play. In game one, Sigler benefited from a five—run first inning to cruise to a complete—ga.ine shutout, 9-0. Hanson hit a leadoff home run and Gladysz, Droppers, Mulhem, and Kagey each drove in runs during the outburst. In the victory, five W&L batters tallied at least two hits. The second game was much closer, as Kagey and Dean combined to shut the door on the Wasps. Kagey picked up his third win of the season, giving up two runs, one of which was earned, over six innings. All of the General’s runs came in the third inning. Hanson doubled home two runs and then scored on an error. The Generals hope to capitalize on a quick 7-1 start and continue their success when they host Southern Vir- ginia at 3 p.m. on Wednesday. k Questions, comments, or suggestions? Contact Jeremy Franklin at phi@wlu.edu or X4452. J Men’s tennis falls to Radford - Baseball Men’s Temiis _ _ Marcia southern Virginia 3:oop.m. March7 Hampden—Sydney 3:00p.m. Generals competitive, but March 10 3tG11i11°0fd(2) 12100P-1T1- March 9 Christopher Newport 3:00p.m. . . . . Men,SLamSse Mmhlo woos,“ 12.00pm fall to Division I Highlanders March 10 at Gettysburg 1:00 pm , _ By Jeremy Franklin Women s Temns S E women’s Lacrosse March 7 Hollins 4:30 p.m. PORTS DITOR :30 ;ta1::1r:1ln;l_Mac0n PE‘ Mafch 11 Denim“ 11300 3-m~ The Washington and Lee men’s tennis team fell to 1-1 P ' P’ ' A on the season with a 5-2 loss to Division I Radford at Women’s Swimming Men’s and Women’s Indoor Track home‘ on Thursday. Mar. 8- 10 at NCAA Championships TBA Mar. 9-10 at NCAA Championships TBA Freshman Graham Nix, playing as the fourth seed, de- feated Radford’s Noufayl Nejdi 6-3, 1-6, 6-4 for W&L’s only singles win. . Nix and classmate Austin Kim pulled out an 8-1 win over Nejdi and Rashid Lamrissi in, doubles competition. Freshman K.C. Schaefer and junior Zac Vuncaimon edged Daniel Vajdic and Khalid Lhamidi, 8-6, in number-three doubles competition. “I thought we all were really ready,” Nix said of W&L’s performance. “We knew they were a good team. We went out there, we fought hard, but we just_came up a little bit short.” Top seed Rhys James dropped a 6-3, 6-1 decision to the Highlanders’ Faycal Rhalazi, and second seed Andrew Roberts was defeated in straight sets by Bartlo Oosthuizen. Kim, the three-seed in singles, and fifth seed Schaefer fell in three sets to Lamrissi and Vajdic. Sixth-seeded Chris Sorenson dropped a two- For up-to-date information on W&L athletics, including scores, schedules, and statistics, visit the Washington and Lee Sports Information Website at wvvw.w|u.edu/sports/ every monday 8:30 p.m. to midnight J AVA AT coi=i=Ei=.peop|eMusicmore THE GHQ March 12 - Open Mike March 19 - An evening with Charene Jones March 26 - Mindbending productions April 2 - Gospel Night with Joyful Noise tonight... Co-sponsored by SAB set decision to Lhamidi. Rhalazi and Oosthuizen edged James and Roberts 8-6 in the number-one doubles match. According to Nix, playing a Division I school early in the season will only help the Generals as they return to Division IH competition. “This definitely gave us a lot of confidence,” Nix said. “We’re thinking this is the best team we’ll play all year. When we go against teams like Emory and Averett, we know that we have the ability to beat them.” The Generals’ match against Emory and Henry sched- Mentz, Babst receive ODAC honors y W&L sports roundup By Jeremy Franklin SPORTS EDITOR Junior Jessica Mentz became the first player in Washington and Lee women’s basketball history to be named to the All-Old Dominion Ath- letic Conference First Team this week. Mentz, who averaged 20.7 points and 10.1 rebounds a game in 2000-01, finished second in the ODAC in scor- ing and free throw percentage (.829) and third in field goal percentage (.520). The forward’s 1,223 points are already a school record, and her 666 rebounds are second all-time at W&L. Mentz’s 37 points in W&L’s 80-69 win over Eastern Mennonite on Feb. 7 are a school record, one of 15 that the junior holds. Classmate Megan Babst joined Mentz in receiving All-ODAC honors with an Honorable Mention recogni- tion. Babst scored 15.7 points a game and led the conference by averaging 11.9 boards. Babst narrowly trails Mentz on the career rebounding list with 663. The Generals finished ninth in the ODAC with a 6-14 record, 8-16 overall. Golfers travel to North Carolina for two invitationals The Washington and Lee golf team began its spring season with a third- place finish in the Guilford/Old Do- minion Athletic Conference Invita- tional in Raleigh on Feb. 23, following that up with an 18th—place showing at the Pfeiffer/Pine Needles Invitational on Feb. 26-27. The Generals’ score of 320 in the Guilford/ODAC Invitational placed W&L behind conference powerhouse Guilford (290) and Lynchburg (309). Hampden—Sydney and Roanoke rounded out the field by tying for fourth at 323. Juniors Curtis Bethea and Kyle Ulep tied for ninth by turning in scores of 79 to pace the Generals. Sophomore David Haase placed 15th with a score of 80, and classmate Chip Campbell tied for 18th by shooting an 82. W&L then placed 18th of 24 teams with a combined 621 in the two-day I photo by Mary Guy/Photo Editor BACKHAND A BLUR. Junior Zac Vuncannon returns a shot in the Generals’ 5-2 loss to Division I Radford on Thursday. uled for Feb. 3, which would have opened Old Dominion Y Athletic Conference competition for W&L, was cancelled. W&L will now begin the ODAC season at 3 p.m. on Wednesday against Hampden—Sydney at home. Pfeiffer/Pine Needles Invitational in , Southern Pines, N.C. Guilford shot a 589 to win the event, and Roanoke tied for 16th at 618. Campbell’s score of 150 led the, Generals, followed by sophomore Chuck Green at 155, Bethea at 156, and Ulep at 160. W&L will compete in the Ferrumi Spring Invitational on March 12-13. Mueller competes in NCAA Division III ‘ Championships Washington and Lee freshman Joe Mueller lost in the fourth round of’ the NCAA Division III Wrestling Championships consolation bracket, falling to Kings College’s Jason‘ Schlingman on Saturday. The l84—pound Mueller was the lone grappler to represent the Gener- als in the competition, which took‘ place on Friday and Saturday in Wa- terloo, Iowa. Mueller was disquali- fied from his only match on the first day of the championships, forfeiting? his match against Lawrence’s Andy Kazik. OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010305/WLURG39_RTP_20010305_007.2.txt p \« 1 MARCH 5, 2001 5 C1112 ilting-tum lfllii SPORTS PAGE 7 Lacrosse team wins home, “ road openers of 2001 Soaring Eagles. By Geoff White SPORTS WRITER «Men blast Elmira, top shington “It was a good tuneup,” Hays said of the win over the The Generals traveled to Chesteitown, Md. to face sixtl1- ranked Washington College jumped to a 2-0 lead, but with 17 seconds left in the first on Saturday. Washington quarter, senior Pope Hackney scored off an assist from The Washington and Lee men’s lacrosse team began their regular season with wins over Elmira and Washing- ton College last week. with 148 goals and 86 assists. The Soaring Eagles started the scoring, but the Gener- I als’ defense would not let them see the net again until the last seven minutes of the contest. Senior goaltender Wes Hays, who played three quarters before being relieved by freshman Ansel Sanders and senior Bo Vaughn, made ' four saves and allowed just one goal. Freshman Matt Fink and senior Pope Hackney tallied three goals apiece. Juniors Andrew Barnett and John Moore and senior Bernie Norton contributed goals as well. I Generals hammer Sweet Briar, fall _ to Franklin and Marshall at home By Jeremy Franklin it SPORTS EDITOR Washington and Lee opened its season with an Old Dominion Ath- letic Conference win over Sweet ‘‘ Briar on Wednesday and a non- conference loss to Franklin and Marshall on Saturday in women’s _lacrosse action. 1 In the Generals’ 19-0 victory over Sweet Briar on Wednesday, freshman . midfielder Lee Wheeler and sopho- -{more attacker Leslie Bogart contrib- uted four goals apiece. 1.’ 7 W&L outshot the Vixens 40-3 on T ,the afternoon as freshmen goalkeep- iWomen win ODAC * invite, while men , place in Grove City 5 By Geoff White SPORTS WRITER The Washington and Lee women’s swimming team won the Old Dominion Athletic Conference Championship over the Washington Holiday, and the men’s team placed second in the Grove City Invitational. Sophomore Blair Huffman was named the ODAC Swimmer of the q_ Year in women’s competition. Huffman also won seven events to be named the Atlantic States Swim- mer of the Meet. Sophomore Kelli Austin also The Generals opened the season with a 16-3 , trouncing of Elmira on Feb. 25. Senior Matt Dugan set a new school record for points with a five-goal, three-assist afternoon. He now has 235 career points period. Norton to put the Generals on the board. Hays held off Washington for the rest of the game, making a total of 12 saves, as W&L came from behind to pull out a 4-2 win. “Our defense played well, as usual,” Hays said. “Most of the shots were from outside.” Norton tied the score with less than a minute left in the half, and the two squads battled through a scoreless third Hackney scored the game-winner in the final quarter off an assist from Barnett, and the senior put another in for good measure to finish off Washington. “It was a little more than we expected,” Norton said of Washington’s challenge. “We took them for granted.” The Generals will travel to face rival Gettysburg on ers Joanna Perini and Annie Tompkins combined for the Generals’ first shut- out since the 1997 season. Freshman Kelly Taffe added three goals and three assists from her midfield position, and senior attacker Liz Borges notched two goals and two assists. W&L dropped its 2001 home opener to Franklin and Marshall on Saturday, a 12-6 decision. Diplo- mats Megan Bermingham and Laura Fine scored three goals apiece in the win. Although the Generals possessed a 31-20 advantage over Franklin and Marshall in shots, the Diplomats were able to break open a 6-4 halftime lead to secure the victory. Senior attacker Ellen Ritsch scored a pair of goals to lead W&L, and Taffe added a goal and an assist. The Generals face non-conference ’ ‘ on Thursday. earned a first-place finish in the 100- yard freestyle. The Generals placed first out of 14 teams at the invitational tournament. While the women were in Radford at the ODAC championships from Feb. 16-18, the men’s team was in Grove City, Pa. The team finished in second place in the Feb. 15- 17 event, topped only by Division II Westminster. Senior Colin Hayes earned a meet and pool record time of 1:53.17 in the 200—yard butterfly. The 200—yard med- ley relay team, consisting of Hayes, classmate Mike Miraglia, sophomore Brett Burns, and freshman Eric Ritter, also broke a 12-year-old school record by winning in a time of 1:36.59. Ritter also broke a school record by placing second in the 100-yard Saturday. W&L lost to Gettysburg in the regular season last year, but defeated them in the NCAA playoffs. “It’s always a real heated game,” Norton said. I Women’s lacrosse splits opening contests defender for control of the ball in Saturday’s contest. The Generals lost, 12-6. «Swimmers successful at postseason events backstroke with a time of 52. 14. Hayes and Ritter will both compete in the NCAA Division HI Swimming Championships starting on March 15 in Buffalo, N.Y. Hayes posted NCAA “B” cut qualifying times in the 100 and 200—yard butterfly events at the Grove City Invitational. He will also swim in the 200-yard IM. - “It’s a big meet,” said Hayes, who has already been to the NCAAs twice and is looking to finish in the top eight in his group. “There’s lots of fast people there.” Ritter qualified for the NCAA Championships with his win in the 100-yard backstroke at the Grove City Invitational. His time of 1:54.99 in the 200—yard backstroke put Ritter in the NCAA “B,” and he will also compete in the 50-yard freestyle. lTrack teams run at ODAC meet " Generals optimistic about approaching _ outdoor season 4 By Ian R. Mcllroy SPORTS WRITER J‘ At the Old Dominion Athletic Conference Indoor Track Champion- ship, held Feb. 24 at VMI’s Cormack Fieldhouse, the Washington and Lee V men’s indoor track team placed fourth of five teams, while the women’s squad finished fifth of five teams. The men’s squad ended the com- .’ petition with 49 points, while the women’s squad garnered 28 points. 1 Despite their low finishes, both W&L teams finished the winter season with 5,; promise for the future. 1 The men’s fourth-place show- ing demonstrates the team’s steady improvement. _ it» “We played to our potential, im- proving by one position from last year’s championships,” men’s coach Norris Aldridge said. Despite early season struggles, senior Marc Watson led the way for the Generals, winning the 55-meter dash in a time of 6.56 seconds and placing sixth in the 200-meter dash at 23.64. Freshman Andrew Schorr finished second in the 3,000-meters with a time of 9:17.77 and fourth in the 1,500- meters at 4:24.41. In the field events, junior Mike Hegg captured third place in the 55- meter high hurdles with a time of 8.42 seconds, while sophomore teammate Chris Sullivan turned in a fourth-place finish in the long jump. According to Aldridge, by adding “more depth in distance races and young contributors in throwing events,” the team will continue to im- prove in the spring. The women’s squad also stands to gain from their ODAC Champion- ship performance. “Our women competed against much stronger teams with poise and spirit,” coach John Turner said. Rumiing her personal record in the 1500—meters with a time of 5:1 1 for a second place finish, sophomore Burke Duncan also took second in the 3,000-meters. Senior Jessica Parrillo captured third place in the 3,000 Meters with a time of 1 1:00.22. Senior Amy Calce also ended her collegiate indoor ca- reer by finishing fifth in the long jump. In the spring, the women will ben- efit from the addition of three juniors: Sarah Schmidt, the two-time ODAC javelin champion, high jumper Megan Babst, and distance runner Gretchen Tencza. _ With these new additions and the returning winter competitors, Turner believes the outdoor squad will en- joy a “combination of speed and spirit that will add to the already hard—working, dedicated, and enthu- siastic team.” courtesy of Sports Information QUICK STARTER. Senior Pope Hackney scored six goals in the Generals’ first two games. photo by Mary Guy/Photo Editor Opponempen-um Onthe mad at4p_m_ UNDIPLOMATTCZ Sophomore Sarah Janowitz (left) battles a Franklin and Marshall _ Ring-tum Phi File Photo STRONG SHOWING. The men’s swimming team placed second at the Grove City Invitational. WATERLOO HOUSES FOR RENT 10 student apartments available June 1, 2001 One house with 6 bedrooms. One house with 4 bedrooms. Enjoy country living at its finest. Just ten miles west of W&L on Waterloo Drive. Please call Tim Wilhelm at 540-463-6575 or 540-463-2868. OCR::/Vol_103/WLURG39_RTP_20010305/WLURG39_RTP_20010305_008.2.txt PAGE 8 Because having friends just ain’t what it used to be i (J11: ifltng-tum lfihi MARCH 5, 200» n11-annual conversation with Clinton Last Word Editor: First off, how is re- tirement treating you? Clinton: I wouldn’t really call it retirement per se: it’s more like I’ve started a new chapter in my life. As I’ve said before, if I could have run for a third term I would have. I still have a lot to offer to the world and years left of public service. But, I don’t think too many of my colleagues in Congress would have appreciated it. LWE: Why do you suppose that is? Clinton: Well, I think you might just have to ask them about that. It seemed as if they were out to get me from the first day I took office. Lately the news has been filled with coverage of Bush’s honeymoon with Con- gress. Well, let me be the first one to say that the honeymoon I got with Congress was worse than the one that I had with my wife — which was pretty bad. LWE: Were you surprised that Con- gress did not let you depart from office peacefully? Clinton: No, I wouldn’t have expected anything less from them. All I did was ex- ercise a constitutionally granted power in the manner that I thought appropriate, ac- cept a few hundred thousand dollars worth of gifts from my friends, and take a few presidential souvenirs to help me remem- ber the job. I gave eight of the best years of my life to serve the country, and the only thing Congress showed me was in- , gratitude. LWE: What impact do you think this is having on your wife ’s career as Senator? Clinton: Well, she’s just going to have to deal with the controversy, because I doubt that it’s going to be going away soon. . . especially with her brothers receiving massive amounts of money for their “con— sultation fees.” But, of course, I have no comment about that. . . except to say, that while a man cannot be forced to testify against his wife, there are some individuals who feel that their civic duty is greater than their matrimonial duty. LWE: Wouldn’t you be implicated in those charges as well, if criminal charges were pressed? Clinton: They call me “Slick Willy” for more than one reason. LWE: Uh, okay, Mr. President. What do you feel is your greatest legacy as Presi- dent of the United States? Clinton: I would hope that my greatest legacy would be the United States’ new po- sition as a global good citizen. Throughout my presidency, I endeavored to usher in a new era of international peace and good- will by deploying American troops all over the world at every opportunity possible. And although I did not invent the Internet like my lackluster, backstabbing former vice president, I take some credit for helping to usher in the greatest sustained period of economic growth that our country has ever seen. LWE: So, what’s next for you? Clinton: Well, I wouldn’t mind taking the next couple of months off from public life to write, enjoy some rest and relaxation, and address a few legal matters that need to be sorted out. It will also give me more time to devote to my favorite hobby. LWE: And what is that? , Clinton: The collectible card game, Magic: The Gathering. It was the only ben- eficial thing that Al Gore added to my presi- dency. Al got us to start playing it when he’d sneak on to Air Force One, until he got “too cool” for it —— after he started playing Dungeons & Dragons. He, Reno, Rubin, and Shalala always used to stay up late in the executive parlor playing it —they called themselves the “Courageous Cabinet Companions” . They don’t lmow ‘what they are missing anymore with the newest expansion sets. LWE: What— ? Clinton: Well you see they have differ- ent kinds of cards that you have to buy that give you different powers for your spell- battles. . . let’s just say Al wasn’t any better at being a wizard than-he was at being a presi- dential candidate. LWE: Mr. President, could we per- haps hear about your upcoming book? Clinton: I’ in actually writing two books. The first is a compilation of mem- oirs from growing up as a boy in Arkansas, to my years as an activist, governor, and presi- dent. It’s entitled Clinton: Conquering Camelot Contritely. The second book I’m co—writing with ac- tor/director Ron Jeremy. It is a fantasy novel about three college cheerleaders who are sent on a magical quest by a State Highway Patrolman for the mythical Rod . of Klinton to save the free world. There is even a movie deal in the works. LWE: That sounds fascinating. Do you have any final thoughts? Clinton: Well, I would just like to thank the American people for allowing me to serve them all these years and say that I intend to stay active and in the news. courtesy http://search.news.yahoo.com JUST CHILLIN’. Clinton, basking in the glory of retirement. Are you having problems with your computer, printer or other device? Can’t seem to get on the Internet or network? Perhaps you could use soine help or friendly advice. CALL: P.C. Assistance, Inc. We are ready to help or advise you on your computer support needs or questions. Owned locally Affordable, competitive rates Experience with the W&L computing environment Call today! 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