OCR::/Vol_099_100/WLURG39_RTP_19971208/WLURG39_RTP_19971208_001.2.txt . -ix Will Hardie is trying Very hard to get clean, but it’s tOO Men’s basketball scores third place in Your house is a very very fine house._.. But are you ppymg too D -— much. the St. Louis much work because someone —-I ind out — ?heck out -the tournement. keeps taking his detergent. ca Rmg- tum Plus rent survey. ’ PAGE 3 PAGE 4 PAGE 6 « ~ 4' 4' :;i.:.::. ‘ Penlfiiilgo. 7 - I Lexington. Va. x Washington and Lee University ’ M0"d3Y DECEMBER 8, 1997 VOLUME 100, NUMBER 9 . Sophomore injured in ‘hofiday “accident BY COURTNEY MILLER AND SYBIL PRINCE ——-——:-——j EXECUTIVE EDITOR AND STAFF WRITER Q9 Track team co-captain, Jill Kosch, will be out for at least the first three months of the season because her neck was broken in a car crash. A Washington and Lee sophomore sustained serious in- juries, including a broken neck and a ruptured spleen in a car accident Friday, Nov. 21. Jill Kosch is co-captain of the track team; her injuries may sideline her for the entire season. Kosch is part of the university’s record holding team for A the 100-meter and 400-meter relays. She is recovering at her home in Columbus, Neb., and expects to return in time for Winter Tenn. Junior Chris Zarek was driving Alfred Dom inek, junior, and Kosch to National Airport in Washington, D.C., when the accident occurred. Zarek’s Saturn slammed into the back , of another car. i Neither Zarek or Dominek were available to comment. ‘ “It was very scary. At that time I didn’t know what my ,, injuries were and I was pretty frightened,” said Kosch. Kosch was initially taken to the Shenandoah County Hospi- tal in Woodstock, Va. The attending physician determined. her injuries were more serious than the hospital could handle and transfened her to the University of Virginia Medical Center. 3 Zarek called Kosch’s family and informed them of the acci- dent. Her parents flew to Washington, D.C., and then drove to Charlottesville. They arrived late Saturday attemoon. The doctors determined that Kosch had fractured two verte- brae in her neck and several ribs and had ruptured her spleen. ‘ At UVa., Kosch was shuffled back and forth between departments. She said she spent six hours getting CAT scans and X-rays to detennine the extent of her injuries. At first doctors feared Kosch might be paralyzed. Further tests re- vealed that her vertebrae had not severed any nerves in her spinal column and that her spleen would heal on its own. She remained in the hospital for the next six days and was re- leased on Thanksgiving day. “Jill was in such great physical condition,” said John Tucker, 1 I(osch’s track coach. “The doctors said it aided her condition.” Kosch stayed in Charlottesville for follow-up treatments through the weekend and returned to Nebraska on Monday. Tucker said that Kosch will be missed as a team leader and one of the strongest sprinters. “J ill’s participation is drastically curtailed. She won’t even be able to start jogging until spring break,” he said. “But , University plans garage, arts center creative decorating of the fraternity houses. Although the KA ’s once again proved no one in the house can see in color and the Phi Delts found tinsel in every color, some houses . like Beta Theta Pi (pictured above) managed to look somewhat festive as well as beautiful. Ho1.1.1sr1;R HOVEY/PHOTO EDITOR LEXINGTON’s JINGLE BEILS JROCKED this weekend during Christmas weekend, a long -standing W&L tradition. This was the last chance most students had to let lose before the onset of finals. W&L was thrust into the Christmas spirit by the even if she’s not out on the track she will be participating helping me make decisions as all my captains do.” The track team began practicing in mid-November and their first meet is in January. Kosch will be in a neck brace for the next three months. “Hopefully I’ll catch the tail end of the season. It’s kind of a bummer I have to miss the first couple of months,” Kosch said. Since Kosch will not be able to retum for finals, her profes- sois are sending them to her. She will be able to take them in Nebraska. “Everyone has been really helpful and understanding,” Kosch said. Series of thefts continue: Looters take advantage of empty Gaines Hall during break IO Jll Elizabeth Kosch ‘00 BY HEATHER MCDONALD ——————-—-—— STAFF WRITER Washington and Lee may ‘end up with a major face-lift if all fares well for the Master Plan. 7 The plan includes sorority housing, a parking garage, a university com- mons and a music and arts center. There are also plans to improve the outdoor athletic facilities and to reconfigure the Lee Chapel Memorial Gates, located at the very front of the campus. “The construction will introduce problems, but they can be solved,” said Frank Parsons, Coordinator of Facilities Planning. The construction will cause parking shortages, Parsons said. “We hope that after that period, temporary inconvenience will be re- placed by conditions better than be- fore,” Parsons said. Parsons cites the sorority houses as a high priority. “We have started the process of Greeks BY KATHRYN MAYURNIK -—--m-—— NEWS EDITOR ’Tis the season for skiing in Vail. ’Tis the season for window shopping in New York. ’Tis the season for gathering around a table for a big Christmas dinner. _Al- . though the lives of Washington and Lee students are opulent compared to those of some in the surrounding area, some are making sure that it is the season for everyone, including the poor. Pi Beta Phi runs an “angel tree” for its approval with the city immediately so by the time we receive final approval we will have selected an architect for the sorority [housing] project,” he said. If all goes well, the university and the city of Lexington should be pro- ceeding to review site plans by early summer. The proposed location for sorority housing is off the ravine be- hind the upper tennis courts, near the stadium. The houses will extend to Nelson Street. Five houses will be built and room is being reserved for a sixth house. The university commons will be built behind the Williams School of Commerce, Economics and Politics extending below ground level off the ravine. It will replace most of the parking spaces behind the Graham- Lees and Reid Hall. The administra- tion is working with consulting firm Litsky, Craig and Associates, in or- der to analyze space and feasibility give time, energy Christmas philanthropy. In coordination with the Salvation Army and Wal-Mart, Pi Phi set up a Christmas tree, omamented with the ages and sizes of children be- tween ages four and 12, outside the Co- op. People can take the ornaments and buy a present for thechild described. “The angel tree provides the under- privileged children with a better Christ- mas,” Pi Phi President Becca Bagdonas said. “Their parents can’t really buy needs of the university commons. While it is uncertain what will be in the university commons, the possi- bilities are exciting. Ideas include a fitness center, a student postal facility, multipurpose rooms for activities offices for the Dean of Students and University se- curity. The GHQ, the Co-op and the bookstore will also be relocated. The multi-level parking garage will be lo- cated behind the Warner Center. How- ever, freshman parking will not be relocated. The University Commons and other proposed buildings will most likely be built in the style ofthe Science Center and Leybum Library. The Board of Trustees, the Lex- ington City Planning Committee and the City Council must approve the Master Plan. Both the Planning Com- mittee and the City Council require separate public hearings in order to approve the plans for construction of new buildings. On Nov. 19, President to them much, so it’s really wonderful that they can get something nice from a stu- dent who cares. We have so much and it’s only right to give back to the com- munity.” J The Pi Phis will be outside the Co- op all day Monday and Tuesday. Junior Sigma Nus Patrick McCormack and Jet? Hayden volunteer at the Rockbridge Area Relief Agency (RARA). John Elrod gave an informal presen- tation on prominent aspects of the Master Plan to the Planning Commit- tee, City Council and city and univer- sity administrators. The specifics of the Master Plan are not being released to the public yet, due to any changes which may occur before the Board of Trustees is scheduled to approve it on Feb. 13. The plan is expected to pass at all levels, Parsons said. “We will always find a way to agree,” Parsons said. “There is always a risk, a sticking point, but we’ve al- ways found a way to agree in the past,” he said. Other plans include a music and fine arts center to be built at the end of the Warner Center, near the Lenfest Center. While unsure of what will be placed in Dupont Hall if the departments are moved, Parsons said, [The new music and arts center] will be more pleasant than the monolithic wall found at that end!” needy McCormack and Hayden prepare packages of food for families to pick up. Area churches, Harris Teeter and Evans Dining donate the food and RARA puts the packages together for specific families. Anyone interested in volunteer pro- grams can contact Professor Beckley, who has infonnation about many op- portunities to help the underprivileged in Rockbridge County. BY WILL HARDIE COPY EDITOR A gang of looters took advantage of the Thanksgiving break to rifle through vacated Gaines rooms, tell- ing students they encountered that they were “looking for John.” Around 4:40 p.m. on Tuesday, Nov. 25, a black man wearing a hat walked into a female student’s Gaines suite. He said he was looking for his cousin John. When the student asked him for John’s telephone number, the man changed the subject, and asked several times whether she was stay- ing there alone, and whether she would be leaving soon for the break. “I didn’ttell him exactly when,just in case,” she said. “I wasn’t scared because he didn’t seem violent. There are always people around Gaines who aren’t students.” Soon afterwards, a man answering to the same description walked into the Gaines suite oflapanese exchange student Naoko Nakane. He asked her whether she knew “John,” and whether this was Lewis Hall. “I know several Johns but I didn’t understand what he wanted, so I said, no,” said Nakane. “I was so scared.” Before long, the John-seeker struck again. “This guy opened my door unbidden and stuck his head in,” said sophomore Lance. Clack. “He made up some question tojus- tify his presence he asked for John. He obviously wasn’t a stu- dent.” Clack called security, then checked that the other doors on his corridor were locked. Security officers Scott “wild Irishman” Rowe and Tony “Italian stallion” Prince rushed to Gaines. Just as they arrived, a suspect walked out of the building and straight into their arms. A minute later another man stepped out, car- rying a Toshiba laptop computer, a Nikon camera and a Jurassic Park video. The officers ordered him to stop, but he ran away. Prince chased him across Nelson Street and up to the Lenfest Center, where the man dropped his loot and escaped. The stolen items belonged to Courtney Yevich. The tape and the computer screen were smashed, but no information was lost from the computer’s hard drive. “I had heard all the stories about robberies but I didn’t think it would happen to me,” she said. The police arrived and picked up 17-year-old Eugene Jordan. He named his three accomplices. Police arranged a photo line-up, from which Clack picked out his room. Police arrested Jason Alstock at his home later that evening. Gaines has been at the epicenter of the recent campus crime expolosion. On Nov. 17, local Brian Armentrout was spotted peering through Gaines windows. Security and police officers chased and caught him, and found a 9mm au- tomatic pistol in his car. OCR::/Vol_099_100/WLURG39_RTP_19971208/WLURG39_RTP_19971208_002.2.txt PAGE 2 IICW S DECEMBER 8, 1997 Weeks Weather: Tuesda Wednesday Thursday Ice I Snow showers Showers Cloudy Cloudy Pt. Cloudy High: 36° High: 45° High: 44,, High: 50, High: 46° High: 45, CHAMBER SINGERS PRESENT SERVICE LOW: 32° LOWI 35° I-ow: 35°. I-ow: 32° LOW: 36° LOW! 32° Washington and Lee’s University’s annual Christmas Candlelight Service will be held Thursday, Dec. 1 1, at 8 p.m. in Lee Chapel. The public is invited to attend. O0l1IT5Y Of The Nationfli Wfifllfi SGIVICE The Service of Nine Lessons and Carols is an ancient form of corporate worship during the Christmas season. The service, which is broadcast each year from King’s College, Cambridge, tells the story of sacred history from Creation to the Incarnation. The prayers, lessons andhymns are used widely both in England and in the United States. Wanted l!!! Individuals, Student T '1 e Music for the traditional service will be provided by the University Chamber Singers, Organizations and Small Groups to Promote: Spring Break Travel Packages Earn Substantial MONEY and FREE TRIPS Call INTER-CAMPUS PROGRAMS fig CO-ED RESIDENTIAL SUMMER CAMP needs male and female cabin conselors, Adventure Counselors, Instructors (Swimming, Horse, Canoe, Ropes), Health Coordinators and Area Directors. Located Near Greensboro, NC. For more information call Netta at (910) 349-9445 or e-mail mel/iott@amarog.ces.ncsu.edu AMUSIC INDUSTRY OPPORTUNITY Breaking Records (Atlantic) is seeking 1998 College Reps. Unpaid, great benefits. by 5 p.m. Zting-Izmz flit‘ is looking for a new Business Manager. Submit a resume and cover letter to the mailbox inthe University Center January 9. Jr. will preside over the service. Big Brother/Big Sister program. GET INTO THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT; ATTEND HOLI- DAY CONCERT TUESDAY LENF EST CENTER The annual W&L Holiday Concert will be held on Tues., Dec. 9, at 7 p.m. in the Lenfest Center. The concert will feature the University Chorus and the University Wind Ensemble. Under the direction of Barry Kolman, the chorus and wind ensemble will present Terry Vosbein’s Winter Symphony. The program will also include popular carols and festive ‘ holiday music. Vosbein is a composer and an assistant professor of music at W&L. The concert is free and open to the public. But due to the popularity of the concert, tickets are required for admission. Call the Lenfest Center Box Office, 463-8000, for ticket information. APPLICATIONS FOR UNIVERSITY COLLEGE, OX- FORD EXCHANGE PROGRAM NOW AVAILABLE Rising juniors who are interested in the Washington and Lee University, University College, Oxford program for the l998-1999 academic year, now is the time to apply! Contact Carl P. Kaiser from the Williams School of Commerce, room 313, 463-8617. For more of a personal account, contact this year’s exchange student from Oxford, Will Hardie at hardiew@wlu.edu. -Compiled by Kathryn Mayumik conducted by W&L professor of music Gordon Spice. The Chamber Singers are upper- classmen chosen by audition after at least one year of experience in the University Chorus. Professor of music Timothy Gaylard will play the organ for the service. Readers will be chosen from the university community. Acting University Chaplain Thomas Litzenburg The service is sponsored by the University Federation, a nondenominational student group that sponsors religious and community activities including the Rockbridge Country can Mr. Wilkins (303) 779-3803 fa/raay 3- §é/// 76 . a/5! Zea;/Eytv/9 Z/9%/Er/a WRANGLER FLY FISHING GUIDE ***>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l< PRIME MONTANA GUEST RANCH IS SEEKING COLLEGE STUDENTS TO WORK FOR THE SUMMER OF 1998 AS WRANGLERS AT OUR CORRALS OR AS FLY FISHING GUIDES UPON OUR SMITH RIVER. MUST HAVE GOOD EXPERIENCE IN EITHER FIELD AND MUST BE WELL ABOVE AVERAGE IN PEOPLE SKILLS. SPECIAL CONSIDERATION WILL BE GIVEN TO GRADUATING SENIORS. PLEASE CONTACT AMY HITLIN OF THE CAREER DEVELOPIVIENT OFFICE IN MATTINGLY HOUSE FOR INFORMATION, INSTRUCTIONS, AN APPLICATION, AND AN INTERVIEW APPOINTMENT- PLEASE ALSO WRITE TO ELK CANYON RANCH, 1 1 5 1 SMITH RIVER ROAD, WHITE SULPHUR SPRINGS, MONTANA, 59645 FOR SPECIAL INFORMATION ABOUT THESE TWO POSITIONS. 16 DAYS ’TIL CHRISTMAS LEXINHLUN (gel/[iv .(/I’l)(I:\'/I'l‘I(/ (ii; COME SEE OUR SELECTION OF on-‘r BOXES AND BASKETS WEEKDAYS 7:30 - 5:30 - SATURDAY 3:00 - 5:00 - SUNDAY 9:00 - 4:00 9 w. WASHINGTON sr. - 464-6586 OCR::/Vol_099_100/WLURG39_RTP_19971208/WLURG39_RTP_19971208_003.2.txt DECEMBER 8, 1997 PAGE 5 What students pay for rent sion to live at 306 McLaughlin Street next year. Country houses cost a bit more, but students find that the perks of country life justify the extra cost. “This is our one opportunity to live in the coun- try,” said Chris Forrest, senior. His house is surrounded by 100 acres of land and features two—story ceilings and a fireplace. The minimum and maximum rent prices found by the survey show that students can rent a country house for between $175 per month and $312.50 per month. The average monthly rate is $245. Jonathan Gorab, senior, cites “the house itself” as the primary factor in choosing to live at Low Dell, and on-campus housing looks pretty good. Archer and her roommates will live off—campus for the first time next year — their senior years. They chose to stay in Woods Creek Apartments this year to avoid the need to buy furniture and the expense of summer rent. She was “thrilled” to learn that the rent for her apartment next years is lower-than-average. The graph below illustrates the distribution of off—campus student rent prices in town and in the country. The frequency of sample values in each price interval is shown. —— Gary Justice,’00, and Kirk Garrett,’00, contributed to this article. Ho1.1./sn;R Hoi'15Y/PHo7o EDITOR CD As the new year approaches, the scramble for off—campus housing heats up. The Phi gives you the skinny on average student rent prices. BY LIZ DEHER W&lii~'E Eorron In the whirl of parties and panic that concludes the fall term at Washington and Lee, sophomores and jun- iors have yet another stress on their minds — choosing their abodes for the next school year. The decision to stay on campus or to venture into the grown-up world of landlords, monthly rent checks and utility bills involves a variety of factors. Of utmost importance are rent prices and location. To help students see how their prospective rent stacks up against the competition, The Phi acquired the results of a Management 201 statistics project that estimated the average rents of off—campus housing. Lee museum will lose its most valued treasure (D After over two decades of caring for Robert E. Lee’s artifacts, Capt. Robert Peniston will retire at the end of this academic year. BY ERICA PROESER . STAFF \X/Rriiaz THE BORDELLO in the Red Light District is just one of many oflicampus, in-town rentals available to students. and Westmoreland was being dogged by people who made mischief. A random sample of W&L juniors and seniors living off—campus asked students their monthly rent excluding utilities and whether they would charac- terize their residences as “town” or “country.” The results revealed that the average student rent is $226.68 per month. The survey found that the average town dweller pays less than the overall mean rent, at $217 .76 per month. Country houses generally have more amenities, driving up the cost of rent. The cheapest apartment in the town sample costs $100 per month; the most luxuri- ous goes for $350 per month. This is good news to Robert Sein, a senior who has lived above the bakery at 8 North Main Street for the past two years. “Looks like I’m getting a deal,” said Sein, who pays less than the mean rent for his apartment. Many students also choose to live in town be- cause of its proximity to campus. Kendra Archer, junior, mentioned the need to be within walking dis- tance of the Hill as a motivating factor in her deci- When the new Lee Chapel mu- seum is finished, it will have a new care- taker to go with it. Capt. Robert Peniston will retire in June 1998, after over 20 years in the job. “it’s in the best interests of the University,” he said. He said that he won’t be around much longer, and the new museum would benefit from a new caretaker. The decision to leave the job behind was entirely his. Peniston spent 30 years on active duty in “After he gave the lecture, he opened the floor to questions. A ca- det raised his hand, but he let the [mis- chief makers] have the first question,” Peniston recalled. “They asked, ‘What about homosexuals in the military?’ And he answered, ‘I don’t know any- thing about that.”’ The general’s answer roused a big roar of an ovation. The people who asked the question left quickly after that response, and Peniston called the ova- the Navy (and three years before that at the Naval Academy) before , retiring and taking the W&L job. He has be— tion “the loudest I have ever heard.” One of the most moving events that Peniston remembers was come a popular person- ality on campus over the years. Professor Gordon Spice of the music department made a Parents’ Weekend concert tribute to Peniston on Oct. 31. The concert took place at Lee Chapel, and Peniston said that he felt humbled and honored by the performance. Peniston had a few stories to tell about things he has seen over the years in Lee Chapel. He remembers one occasion in January 1980 when Gen- eral Westmoreland spoke at the chapel, LEE CHAPEL. . the dedication on May 9, 1986 of the plaque hon- oring the Medal of Honor winner from W&L. It was an impressive ceremony, Peniston said. The winner’s com- manding ofiicer came to speak, and the chapel was full of moist eyes. Now, the retired officer is leaving the chapel to someone else’s care. He said that the museum, the reason for his retirement, will be state of the art. people say, ‘Why a country house with a pool and lots of land. Rent was also a consideration for him- self and his four roommates. Gorab and his roommates drive to campus each day. All five of them have cars, obvi- ating the need to live within walking distance of school. ' L “We had to negotiate with the landlord for the price,” said Gorab, whose rent is close to the mean. Some students opt to spend theirjunior and senior years in University housing. Gaines Hall, Woods Creek Apartments, the Old Delt House, the International House, the Chavis House and the Outing Clubhouse are at- tractive options for students who like Dean Manning as a landlord. On-campus housing ranged in price from $1, 760 to $2, 660 per year, according to the 1996-1997 University Cata- logue. This works out to from $195.55 per month to $295.55 per month. Factor in the extra costs of summer rent and utili- ties for an off-campus address, -.00-I11 16 14 12 10 Rent Prices: Town v. Country 100-150 151-200 201-250 Pn'ca intervals 1: Town 251-300 301-350 I country PENISTON will retire at the end of this academic year He has been the Lee Chapel caretaker for over two decades. Ho1_L1s'rER HOVEY/PHOTO EDITOR one for its time.” He said that the museum, which will cost about $1 .5-2 million, should be completed by May 1998. Peniston will not be “A lot of C6 are you changing [the chapel]?’” he said. The answer is that the chapel will finally be up to modern museum standards. The ex- hibits will not change much, but the displays, [Peniston] is as much a part of the school as General Washington and General Lee... —— Dr. J Davis F utch leaving the area when he leaves his job, though. His family has had ties to Lexing- ton for years. His son at- tended W&L, cases, lighting, cli- mate control and security systems will all be top-of-the-line. The construction also includes the installation of a handi- capped access ramp from the Corral. “The old museum was built in 1962 or ’63,” he said. “It was A-number 7 but he died shortly before graduating. Peniston’s daughter mar- ried a W&L graduate, and Peniston and his wife have been comfortable in the area since his retirement from the military. Besides, many members of the W&L community, like Dr. J. Davis Futch of the history depart- ment, see him as an important part of the W&L community. “Dr. Futch was my son’s favorite professor,” Peniston said. “The first letter we received after my son’s death was from Dr. Futch. We’ve become good friends.” Peniston stops by Futch’s office several afternoons a week to chat with him. Peniston’s replacement may be a scholar and an expert in the museum’s artifacts, but he or she will never be Peniston. The retired Navy captain contributed much to the personality ofW&L, and he will be sorely missed on the Hill. Futch has wami feelings for the caretaker: “For me, [Peniston] is as much a part ofthe school as General Washington and General Lee, and I think he should have a statue on cam- pus right beside Cyrus McCormick’s.” W Lexington offers unique gift ideas BY GINGERPHIILIPS Srm Wanna ]:[t’s stressful. lt’s confusing. No, it’s not final exams. It’s Christmas shopping. You’re probably wondering what in the world to buy for your parents and friends. The answer to all your problems is right here in town. Lexington may not be a booming metropolis, but it does offer a wide variety of unique shops where you’re sure to find great Christmas presents for everyone on your list. The best shops for mom are The Victorian Parlour and Virginia Born and Bred. The Victorian Parlour, 13 S. Main St., is the place to shop for the mom who likes elegant and decorative items for her house. There you can find beautiful porcelain and crystal items such as cups, plates, and jars. Lace, jewelry, fragrances and other toiletry items can be pur- chased at the Parlour. Virginia Born and Bred, 16 W. Washington St., sells many attractive objects with local themes such as Lexington boxes, tobaccojars, and pottery, and W&L glasses and ornaments. Many of these items can be engraved with a message or the W&L Trident. Owner Julie Lindsey says, “Food baskets and cookbooks are extremely . popular gifts. You can buy a premade basket or you can design your own.” Bas- kets can be filled with anything from cof- fee and cookies to jams and Virginia wines. Since those food baskets can also be great gifts for dad, another shop to visit is The Shenandoah Attic, 23 S. Main St. The Attic also offers some great gour- met food items and wines. You can buy coffee mugs, wind chimes, lamps and wooden objects. Another store for dad is Alvin-Dennis, at 102 W. Washington St., where you can buy neat ties and other men’s clothing. For friends or siblings, Sunday’s Child, 16 N. Main St, has tons of cute and unusual gifts, such as stationary, calendars, figurines, books and jewelry. This is definitely the place to go for kids’ presents, like stuffed animals and those little virtual reality pets. Crossroads and Night Owl Music are also great places to buy CD5 and tapes for your friends. Artists in Cahoots, 1 W. Washington St., is a truly unique store with» gifts to fit almost anyone’s taste. All of the items sold in this shop are created by local artisans. You can buy beautiful paintings, etchings and photographs of Lee Chapel, the Colonnade and Lexington. Owner and artist Maureen Worth says, “it’s a great place for students to find gifts for their parents, and the parents usually want to come in themselves on Parents’ Weekend.” You can also find sculptures, jewelry and glass objects like vases, ornaments, paperweights and bottles. So you don’t have to go very far to find great Christmas presents that everyone will love. Turn your stress over finals into a little fun with a shop- ping excursion to downtown Lexington. If you still don’t have the time,just visit the University Bookstore, where you can find a huge selection of books, cards and W&L gift items. The Bookstore’s Christmas sale is on Wednes- day, Dec. 10, so don’t miss it. Happy shopping! ROBERT E. LEE NUTCRACKERS make unique Christmas gifts from Lexington. 1'/()[.LIS77:‘R H()l’l5Y/PHOYO EDITOR OCR::/Vol_099_100/WLURG39_RTP_19971208/WLURG39_RTP_19971208_004.2.txt PAGE 4 REsuL'rs Men’sBa_sketball (3-3) Wed.: W&L 44 Hampden Sydney 42 Lopata Classic at Washington University, St Louis, Missouri Fri.: W&L 56 Washington U. 81 Sat.: W&L 55 - Occidental 46 Women’s Basketball (3-1) Thurs.: W&L 62 RMWC 51 Men’s Swimming (1-3) Sat.: W&L 89 VMI 110 'Women’s Swimming (3-2)- Tues.: W&L 91 RMWC 29 W&L 85 Sweet Briar 36 AHEAD Men’s Basketball Tues.: home VS. Emory & Hemy at 7:30pm Women’s Basketball Mon.: at Bridgewater Women’s Swimming Wed.: home vs. Marymount at 6pm Men’s Swimming Wed.: home vs. Marymount at 6pm sports Men’s basketball captures third place at Lopata Classic tournament in St. Louis BY BRENDAN HARRINGTON j"""'_-"'_'j-‘ STAFF \X/RITE! the men’s basketball team as the Generals went 2-1 last week. On Wednesday night the Generals pulled off a monstrous victory as they downed Hampden-Sydney 44-42 and snapped a 15-game losing streak against the Tigers. The Generals then traveled to St. Louis to play in the Lopata Classic where they got a rude awakening against a strong Washing- ton University team. They lost 81-56 after falling behind 27-2 in the first half. But the roll coaster ride contin- ued as the Generals went out the next night and downed Occidental College of California 55-46 in the consolation game of the Lopota Classic. The Gen- erals finished the week at 3-3 overall and 1-1 in the ODAC. The Generals pulled off a huge upset Wednesday night as they downed Hampden-Sydney College 44-42. In what was most likely the biggest win for the program under third year coach Kevin Moore, the Generals used a Princeton-like strat- egy of ball control and back-door passes to pull off the improbable conquest. Senior forward Kelly Dyer led the way for the Generals as he scored 21 points and hit four three- pointers. Dyer tied the game on a free throw with 45 seconds to go and the Generals took the lead for good after Scott Hudson hit a free throw with 12 seconds left. Trail- ing 43-42, Hampden-Sydney had one last shot but came up short on a jumper in the lane and the Generals added a free-throw to make the fi- nal score 44-42. Hampden-Sydney came into the game with a 3-0 record and had av- eraged 98.7 points per game, but "W&L held the Tigers to only 13 points in the first half en route to the victory. This triumph snapped a It was an up-and-down week for Jock Shorts - 5 Generals named to GTE Academic football team - 7 Generals named to All-ODAC football team - Women’s swimming marks two victories - Women’s basketball claim victory - For the eighth consecutive year, the Generals had the most selections to the GTE Academic All-District III foot- ball team. The selections were senior defensive linemen Jack Boyd and Omar Moneiin, senior offensive line- man Stefan Neumeister, sophomore offensive lineman John Sensing, and sophomore wide receiver .l.T. Malatesta. These five honorees have the possibility of being named to the All-American GTE Acedemic foot- ball team to be named in the upcom- ing weeks. Seven members of the Generals 1997 football team have been named to ODAC All-Conference team. Play- ers named to the First Team All- ODAC were junior offensive lineman Marc Granger, sophomore kicker Matt Holbrook, and senior defensive end Jack Boyd. The four Generals named to the Second Team All- ODAC were junior tight-end David Ritchey, senior defensive tackle Omar Moneirn, senior linebacker Matt Luka, and senior safety Ryan Fletemeyer. The Generals extended their ODAC dual meet winning streak to 30 consecu- tive meets, by defeating Randolph- Macon Woman’s College 91-29 and Sweet Bria: 85-36 in a double dual meet on Tuesday evening in the Cy Twombly Pool. Senior co-captain Bligh Wollner and junior Margaret Hoehl were each triple winners for W&L. Wollner won the 100 yard free (1 :00.28), the 200 yard tree (2:09.52) and the 500 yard free (5252.75); Hoehl won the 200 yard butterfly (2:22.59), the 200 yard backstroke (2:22.63) and the 200 yard individual medley (2223.16). Lauren McKeever also swam well for the Generals, as she won the 100 yard breaststroke (1 : 15.2 1) and the 200 yard breaststroke (2250.44). The Generals will host Maiymount next Wednesday at 6:00p.m., and then will be off until winter term. The women’s basketball team im- proved its record to 3-1, 1-1 ODAC with a 62-Slconference victory’ over Randolph Macon Women’s College on Thursday in the Warner Center. They were led by senior forward Tonia Dean, who recorded her third double-double of the season by scoring 13 points and grabbing 13 re- bounds. She now has 552 re- bounds over her career, which breaks the previous career re- bounding mark of 545 set by Sandra Holmes, who played from 1993 to1996. In addition to Dean, three other W&L starters recorded double-digit points. Junior Chrissy Burghardt led all the ' Generals with 16 points, fresh- man Missy Weathersby had 13 points, 6 rebounds, and a team- high 7 assists, and junior Am- ber Hinkle had 10 points. De- spite their complete destruction, Jennifer Baptist led RMWC with 19 pointsand nine re- bounds. The game was close until the nine-minute mark of the first half, at which the Generals went on a 19-6 run to break a 12-12 tie and finish the half. They extended their 3 1-18 lead to 15 early in the second period, but RMWC scored 12 straight un- answered points to cut the lead to only three points. W&L weathered the stonn, however, and ultimately claimed a nine point victory. — courtesy of stafl reports and Sports Information Oflice c o 15 game losing streak against Hampden-Sydney that dated back to 1990. The win moved the General’s record to 1-1 in the ODAC and 2-2 overall, already matching last year’s record. The Generals traveled to St. Louis following the big victory and were in action on Friday night against host Washington University in the 14th Annual Lopata Classic. Things did not go nearly as well for the Generals on this night as Wash- ington Uninversity jumped out to a 27-2 first half lead as the Generals went scoreless for over 14 minutes. The Generals were never able to recover from the deficit and went on to lose the game 81-56. Kelly Dyer scored a bucket for the Generals with 17:17 remaining in the first half and the Generals did not score again until freshman Eric Owsley hit a pair of free throws with 3:26 remaining in the half. After trailing 37-14 at the halfthe Generals did make the score respect- able as they played well in the second half. Shooting guard Eric Owsley was the leading scorer for the Generals as he scored 17 points. Kelly Dyer and Scott Hudson each added 8 for the Generals. The loss dropped the Gen- erals to 2-3 overall. The Generals rebounded well from the tough loss and downed Occidental College of California 55-46 in the con- solation game on Saturday night. The Generals led Occidental 25-18 at the half and led by as many as 12 in the second half before Occidental stormed back behind the hot shooting of Eli Engle and tied the game at 38. How- ever, the Generals took the lead for good on the next possession and went on to defeat Occidental 55-46 and even their record at 3-3. Kelly Dyer led the Generals with 17 points, 10 of them in the final eight minutes of the game. -T he Generals out-rebounded the Tigers 43-25. Dyer and sophomore center Scott Hudson each grabbed 9 rebounds. The Generals sealed the deal by go- ing 5-7 from the charity stripe in the final minute ofthe game. The Generals played all three games without the services of sopho- more Rich Peterson, last year’s ODAC freshman of the year, who is out with a broken finger. They hope to have him back for the first game after the break. The Generals will play their final game before the break in the home- opener against Emory & Henry Col- lege on Tuesday at 7:30pm in the Warner Center. DECEMBER 8, 1997 THE GRAND FINALE... In his final race as a Washington and Lee General, senior cross country captain and ODAC Runner of the Year Jason Callen placed 137th in the NCAA Division [11 Championship as the sole member of this year's team who quali- fied. C01/R’l‘1:‘SY or SPORTS IN]-‘ORMA no/v 01-‘I-‘I(‘Ii Winter lntramurals are starting. Publicize your results with the Phi. e-mail: phi@wlu.edu Everyone deserves to read about your success. ROLLA THERE ARE A FEW sPECIAL THINGS THAT wE CAN REALLY COUNT ON TO IIELPUsACCOMPLIsII ALLTHAT _ WENEED TO DO. RELIABLE, DEPENDABLETHINGS LIKE THE TOYOTA COROLLA. OVER TIIE PAsT so YEARS. COROLLA HAS BECOME ONE OF THE MOST TRUSTED CARS IN THE WORLD. AND NOW IT'S ALL-NEw...wITiI MORE PASSENGER AND TRUNK ROOM, AN ALL-NEW ' ALUMINUM ENCINE THAT'S ONLY MORE POWERFUL. IT'S MORE ECONOMICAL...UP TO 38 MILEs PER GALLON HIGHWAY. COROLLA 18 SAFER AND OUIETER, AND BEST OFALL, IT STARTS ATA PRICE LOWER THAN LAST YEAR. MORE CAR...LEss __ MONEY. WHAT A ”, REFRESHING C H A N G E ! OCR::/Vol_099_100/WLURG39_RTP_19971208/WLURG39_RTP_19971208_005.2.txt I 8 'riion * rial PAGEM5 J mo. 8, 1997 That dysfunctional Jefferson server Like so many of the students, faculty and administration at W&L, the Ring-tum Phi relies heavily on the Jefferson server to complete its work every week. At about 10:25 p.m. Sunday night, 25 min- utes after the HelpDesk closed, Jefferson decided to shut itself down again, extending its stellar crash record for the past two weeks. Another crash happened at almost the exact same time one week ago. The faculty at -this school take the “com- puter” excuse for late work about as well as the “my dog ate my homewor ”~ excuse. University Computing employees routinely tell students simply to use that story with professors. What may be at the root of the problem are the upgrades made to the server over the Thanksgiving holiday. Was there really a pressing need to change the server one week before law school exams and two weeks before undergraduate exams? Any time major changes are made to a computer system, some instability can be expected, so why risk that before such a critical portion of the term? University Computing should consider a major overhaul of the Jefferson server over the Christmas holiday. There are two weeks in which to solve these problems, and if there are still problems after the vacation, the first few weeks of a term are not critical working weeks. Most students are not frantically trying to finish 20-page papers during the first week of school. Among all of the lost papers and projects, there are some lessons to be learned. If you are using a public computer system, keep a copy of your paper or project on disk, especially since the Jefferson server is becoming more of a liability than a resource. If University Computing really wants to make the campus more online, they need to make sure that the equipment is working correctly. They also need to be a little more in- touch with the true need of the W&L commu- nity: computers on which to finish their work that are reliable. ,»5"(‘(HN'~'§‘. “ A uote of the week: at N S}. <«..,,.,«. . I love shoes. They’re the only thing that can’t make me look fat. —Anonymous freshman girl 77 Ellie ‘tiling-tum lfllii Executive Editors Courtney Miller Jason Zacher Managing Editor Hillary Coom bs Associate Editor Andrea Ewing News Editor Kathryn Mayurnik w& life Editors Liz Detter Tarah Grant Opinion & Editorial Editor Frances Groberg Sports Editor John Stewart Copy Editor Will Hardie Photo Editor Hollister Hovey ‘ Online Editor Tom Wadlow Business Manager Rebecca C uny Circulation Manager Matthew Craig Advertising Editor Douglas Brown Asst. Advertising Editor Steven Klotz The Ring-tum Phi is published Mondays during the undergraduate school year at Washington and Lee University, Lexington, Virginia. Funding for the Ring- tum Phi comes primarily from advertising and subscription revenues. The Washington and Lee Publications Board elects the Executive Editor and Business Manager, but the Ring-tum Phi is otherwise independent. The Ring-tum Phi welcomes all responsible submissions and letters. All submissions must be in the Phi office, room 208 of the University Center, by noon on Saturday to appear in that week's edition. The Ring-tum Phi reserves the right to edit sybmissions for content and length. Letters, columns and “My Views” do not reflect the opinion ofthe Ring-tum Phi Editorial Board. Advertising does not reflect the opinions ofthe Ring-tum Phi or its staff. This newspaper observes current court definitions of libel and obscenity. The Ring-tum Phi 208 University Center Washington and Lee University Lexington, Virginia 24450 Telephone: (540)462-4060 Fax: (540) 462-4059 E-mail: phi@wIu.edu GENERATION Lax UH/if SORDRNY RUSH IS... ,uHnr IT siioutv 9:... Letters to The Rizng-tum Phi EC Secretary responds to writer in The Southern Collegian In thearticle entitled “Notes from the EC Under- ground” that Mr. Alex Christensen generously-com- piled for me in the latest Southern Collegian, I dis- covered that I am much more clever than I origi- nally thought. According to Mr. Christensen’s evaluation ofthe EC’s minutes this year, I have been “finding a way to comment a little wryly on the go- ings on (at the EC) without being too obvious.” The truth is, however, I fall short of deserving Mr. (C I consider the position to i which I have been entrusted a delicate duty to be carried out carefully and humbly. 77 Christensen’s compliments regarding my wit and sardonic sense of humor. The Southern Collegian claims that the article is “by Taylor Schultz,” and “compiled by Alex Christensen.” The Southern Collegian broadly, if not incorrectly, employs the word “compiled.” The EC minutes Mr. Christensen cites comprise less than a third of the article, so I can scarcely claim or be attributed authorship. Of course, I am certainly not above parody. Indeed, I am flattered that the South- ern Collegian made me the subject thereof. But I am disappointed to be associated with parody poorly done. Mr. Christensen’s article is misleading and irresponsible. He wrongly speculates that in an ef- fort at self-expression I attempt to animate with sar- casm what would otherwise be “dry” EC minutes. Implicit in this is that I ridicule certain campus or- ganizations and belittle certain EC business. As evidence of my artistic license, Mr. Christensen cites in his article excerpts from EC minutes that I have composed this year concerning Contact Committee plans, Fridays! Committee fund- ing, and alcohol issues at W&L. I intended neither the language nor the juxtaposition of these items to be read humorously or sarcastically. Mr. Christensen’s suggestion that I treat these matters with disregard is misguided. I consider the posi- tion to which I have been entrusted a delicate duty to be carried out carefully and humbly. I can assure Mr. Christensen that whatever humor I might har- bor did not seek expression in these matters. . On the other hand, I believe that blatantly trivial matters, such as the plans for an EC social that Mr. I Christensen also cites in his article, lend themselves to comedic treatment. Thus, on the occasion that such innocuous matters arise in a meeting, I treat them accordingly in the minutes. The EC, in addition to adjudicating the Honor System, takes seriously its prescribed tasks includ- ing the allocation of student funds and oversight of student committee activities. For anyone truly in- terested in the conduct of EC meetings, note that we meet with open doors each Monday night at 7:30. Yet open doors or not, I should warn that EC meet- ings are much less lively and audacious than Mr. ‘ii.’ an -.~*~~... J- *1, 3 : l" (.---*i' ‘A M i- : Christensen portrays, and much more tedious and se- rious-minded than he can know. ' Cordially, Z. Taylor Shultz EC Secretary The Gadfly defends his purpose I am writing this letter in response to an article that appeared in the most recent edition of the Southern Col- legian. In it there appeared an article which told of a mysterious pamphlet released to various members of the faculty written under the pseudonym “The Gadfly.” While I recognize that the purpose of the Southern Collegian is to “piss off W&L,” it is unfortunate that my article was initially explained in this forum. The issues discussed are of a serious nature and consequently are in need of serious people to discuss them — not “Scruffy the Wea- sel.” Consequently, I feel the need to explain myself. First things first. W&L being what it is, I feel as though I must dispel the author’s opinion of my identity as a disgruntled independent male who can’t drink or garner female attention. I am not an independent. The staff at The Palms knows me by name. I have no shortage of amorous affection. I repeat my belief that many of you would be surprised by my identity... My article was aimed at the faculty in the belief that many of them were unaware of some of the activities tak- ing place within the Washington & Lee University com- munity. Acts that were once shameful in the Washington & Lee community have become commonplace while the administration and faculty turns a deaf ear. Because it is the faculty that students look up to and regard with a deep sense of esteem and veneration, it is the responsibil- ity of the faculty to assume a position of moral leader- ship. In short, to re-instill shame and redefine honor! The central argument of my article was this: “that Wash- ington & Lee has reached a defining moment in its his- tory.” The principles that animate our actions, the vir- tues that we intimately cherish, and the honor we once observed are in question. Welno longer feel inspired by the magnanimity of true honor, no longer possess the desire to be one with something greater than ourselves. We no longer reflect on the state of our souls or the de- gree to which the ideal of honor should influence our everyday actions. If we continue on our present path, Rob- ert E. Lee’s moral project, meant to inspire and invigo- rate our souls, will ultimately end in shameful failure.” My article went on to explain the wide gulf that exists in different areas of student life between our honorable ideals and the state of Washington & Lee. My hope was that the article would be contained to faculty members because I was aware that my article could be made the object of jest and failed attempts at journalistic humor. I have employed anonymity because I wanted my claims to be engaged on their own terms, not as the “preju- diced” opinions of “XXXXXX.”. It is easy to discredit ideas by attaching labels and attacking the author rather than his/lier ideas. The editors of the Southern Colle- gian seem to believe that anonymity is simply a mark of cowardice, devoid of any purpose. However, what is lost on them is that ideas are what matter. If used correctly, they can be agents of action so as to return us to the ani- mating principles that make Washington & Lee a truly wonderful place. Indeed, many of the writers who fueled our convictions of freedom and equality did so under the protective guise of anonymity —— not because of cowardice, “I went to the seediest bar in Charlottesville to see four white guys and a drunk, blind black man without many teeth sing,” those.” — Hollister Hovey ’00 Phi Photo Editor “You know those hats that you put the beer on, and you suck the drink through a huge straw? I drank a margarita out of one of — Kathryn Mayumik ’98 P to celebrate _ ,méxtey,;andi’,f6, ’ .2: ,t;t&3’§1tiC§ac,cs.lti=.ict:iii " aiislduriag tltifi see»- me will write ‘pack. 5 V 9 6,4? 5 3 u t at 4 _u '1 5 3 y. 4 5 s 4 l‘ I 4 5 -I control pills lietore. In- , . ,’” ‘sureyosz’li.‘fod%nter~ ~ % e orormt Girl.’sl‘2'.\L‘i1iiilvllzll I am saying is true! If what I say is wrong. tlicn the Illin- of truth is on your side and all that is iicctled in‘) smit inc away is to understand on a personal leyel i10\\.' 2;m;l xx li_\ l have been incorrect in my assessment of iiormr at 'W&l.. My intent is not to instigate an editorial war or propagzitc another campus debate in the spirit of /\le.x: C lnisieiiser: and Glenn Miller.‘ lfthe W&L toinniuniiy <‘£ll‘.liU{ 1.23». seriously my claims because ofaiionx inn}. l ‘»\!illli1IVl‘;li-' reveal myself at the time. llll Li/‘\l.?l‘l.V.'l ’ What did you do over Christmas Weekend? as up Phi News Editor “I watched my house get trashed and then decided with my roommates that sleep was more important than cleaning the place "kio1in\ lz'.iir~;.,i‘. ';..-..l ' . on the next t«.l1;imi oft.‘-,\ i'i;:i‘ior niaiiifestn." "rim;-‘«'.*.1i ( i.i*~\ 1 — Jason Zacher ’98 Phi Executive Editor OCR::/Vol_099_100/WLURG39_RTP_19971208/WLURG39_RTP_19971208_006.2.txt PAGE 6 I aliilol Humor, ®pini0n,li,eviews Laundromat bandits: Who’s been deflowering my detergent? By Will Hardie Copy Editor Every week as I heave my sack of socks into the Woods Creek West laundry, 1 notice something amiss. I find I possess just a little less Harris Teeter President’s Choice Extra White Ultra Laundry Detergent than I left last week. The lid of my box has been left open a crack. The little plastic scoop hasn‘t been put back quite the right way. My little white box is sitting slightly askew on top of its Pepsi machine. It guiltily refuses to make eye con- tact; assaulted, violated, raped. Deep in the concrete bowels of Woods Creek West, I know that the villain has struck again. D Someone’s been pillaging my powder. I can picture just what’s going on in the mind of this fiend. J ealously he zooms in on my sweet little receptacle, as she reclines innocently in the dust and lint. Perhaps a small trail of dribble escapes the twitching comer of his mouth. But the predator checks himself. He knows he can’t just wander over and ravish her. What if he is seen? The dishonor of being sprung swiping just a couple of scoops of Harris Teeter President’ s Choice Extra White Ultra Laun- dry Detergent would be unbearable. But he’s fairly sure he can get away with it if he’s fast enough. He’s only in Alex knows ‘what you did last summer’ ‘ trouble if I actually catch him in the act. So he develops the art of the speedy detergent heist. He strolls nonchalantly into the laundry. He cases the joint while casually slinging his filthy briefs into washer number three. All clear. Faster than lightning he strikes. He leaps over to the Pepsi machine and seizes the unwit- ting container. Rapaciously he rends open my carton, flicks a couple of scoops of the precious white stuff into machine num- ber ‘three, then frantically tosses the carcass back into place. Safe. Maybe he sniggers, Beavis-like, to himself as he melts into the night. He’ll live to pillage another wash. Adrenaline courses through this twisted mind. The thrill is addictive. So he doesn’t splash out $3.49 for his own little box of Harris Teeter President’s Choice Extra White Ultra Laundry Detergent. He would rather take mine and get away with it, he would rather screw my girl than get his own. Is this a personal thing? Is he pursuing some vendetta against me by raping my Harris Teeter grains? Or is he just a chronic sociopath who lacks the funda- mental respect for another man’s laundry accessories? One of these days I will catch him cock-in-hand, unmask The Lone Laundry Raider, and put my mind at rest. Watch last Word your back, Raider, I’m comin’at ya. By Alex Christensen N P/21' Movie Critic Horror is in transition. It used to be enough to have a crazy/monster/ ghost- type creature and a lot of nubile scream- ing babes. Everybody by now knows the cliches of the slasher film, if not from - actually having seen them, at least from having seen “Scream,” where the “rules” of the horror game are ruthlessly subverted and parodied in the name of good fun, and even better scares. As the world of comedy has learned, however, there is only so much mileage to be had from self-referential irony. Letterman was hilarious when he was making fun ofhirnselfas apotential mem- ber of the comedy establishment; now that he’s there, the establishment itself, his non-comedy comedy does not play nearly as well as it used to. Conan O’Brien works in the world of the sur- real and ridiculous with great success — when all else fails to get laughs, the theory goes, be funny. So we find ourselves in the Letterman phase of horror films. They’re going to But that’s going to get old fairly quickly. Then what? Back to pure scares, hope- fiilly avoiding the cliches so thoroughly dissected by self-aware gore-fests like “Scream.” Kevin Williamson, the smart, funny screenwriter who started this revolution with his script “Scary Movie,” which became ten and “I Know What You Did 2” will be up next year. “I Know What You Did” straddles two worlds of the self-awareness of “Scream” and the older (and newer) “pure scare” movies like “Halloween” and “Nightmare on Elm Street.” It’s not ’ The pitch: “swam,” (on? “lt’|| be like might argue it ‘ ’ started, with Halloween “Child’s Play,” “Gemilins 2; The meets New Batch,” or “Wes Craven’s ‘SC|"eam.’” New Nightmare”) seems likely to be » able to ride the wave of irony and come out on the other side, with his real abil- ity to write scary. He may have the privi- lege of being his own Conan O’Brien. “I Know What You Did Last Sum- mer” is the second of Williamson’s scripts (and hardly the last) to be pro- duced. “Scream 2” hits theaters this completely outside itself. It wants to be a straight thriller/slasher film, but it des- perately wants to leaven the proceed- ing by maybejust a wink here or there. But these attempts are rather pointless, even grotesque, like a bad pick-up line. Aside from this post- “Scream” un- certainly in places, “I Know What You be good for a while as self-exploitations. Colonnade Club Christmas, “Scream 3” is already writ- Did” is scary. It’s the story of four teen- DECEMBER 8, 1997 Find elightenment on e-mail By Tom Monaco Staff Writer, I would like to begin within the bounds of reality for a few moments to give you a few words of advice that I have picked up along the way and hopefully to spark your interest in the work of a brilliant man. I realize that for the three or four of them: The Eleven Statements Toward Personal Enlight- enment. 1.) Driving under a tangle of overpass. ‘ 2.) Pulling gears to hear switches click; feeling a gust of nerves. 3.) In the mind of my mind, a hand saunters motives you (if that many) to coils. who have consis- ‘ C 4.) The Hand of Randomness. tently read and 5.) The Hand of Unspeakable enjoyedmy earlier Be forewarned that these are not ‘hints’ Language- °°‘“"‘_“S"h‘5_w“1 in the true sense of the word, in fact, I like 6') The Hand °f U“5°°“ 5°‘ be a bit of a d1sap— quence. poimmem, and 1 to call them: The Eleven Statements 7.) the Hand of1_heUnknown_ . apologize in ad- Toward Personal Enlightenment. 3-) U“d‘“-“he Pi“°Wa the G11“ Vance for this. 9 ’ breathes. During my 9.) Texas vs. France? relatively few Who wins? years as a universally-oriented scholar of intricacies, I 10-) The spiny Creatures Ofthe deep. have come across some very interesting facts, people, and ideas (some of which have been alluded to in my earlier columns). I must admit, though, that none of these persons have been more fascinating than the poet/musi- cian/philosopher J .C. Fitzsimmons. Since both J .C.’s and my intellectual flags are hung on the same flagpole, we have developed a mutually engrossing line of correspon- dence via electronic mail services. In one of the electronic correspondences, J .C. left me with “a few hints” that I feel would be worthwhile to share with Washington and Lee University. Be forewarned that these are not actually “hints” in the true sense of the word, in fact, I like to call 1 1.) Sin will find you out. Bonus: Shoveling coal into the open grate. A quick suggestion before I end: after reading these hints, make photocopies and send them to your family, friends, and other assorted loved ones. I would tell you to put them on Christmas cards, but I am not sure if J .C. would approve of that. That is about as much reality as I can stand for right now, however, I must admit that the circus clown, who lived with my family for three years, was right when he told me, “that a little reality really can be interesting, as long as it is taken in moderation.” agers, Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt of “Party of Five”), Helen Shivers (Sa- rah Michelle Gellar, TV’s “Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Barry Cox (Ryan Phillippe), and Ray Bronson (Freddie Prinze, Jr.), who are celebrating the end of their last summer together when they accidently hit someone crossing the road. Instead of going to the cops, they decide to dump the body and pretend it never happened. Anne Heche, the relatively new ac- tress whose roles in “Volcano” and “Donnie Brasco” have marked her as a real talent to watch, makes a fascinat- ing cameo. It’s all a lot of fun. Horror films often are critcized for being predictable and having stupid characters. These char- acters are less than smart at times, but you never have to forgive the screen- writer. It’s all motivated, explained within the film. And it’s fun to watch. You won’t guess who the killer is. It doesn’t go on too long. Everybody’s good- looking, though a little more nudity would have gone a long way (Hey, it would have). People die interestingly. seven 51¢ All day-Bookstore Sale W&L Lessons and Carols service sung by the Chamber Sing- ers in Lee Chapel 353? FRIDAY 34? last day of classes 351‘? SATURDAY 3335 8 p.m. Handel’s Messiah sung by the Rockbridge Choral Society at Lenfest 3? SUNDAY 35¢ 3 p.m. Rockbridge Ballet Holiday Dance Concert in Lenfest *1‘? NEXT WEEK: 51¢ Take those finals *1‘? do some Christmas shopping for your roomates, family, and any one else from whom you want a present 3?; do laundry so your mom won’t MONDAY 354? 8 p.m. “The Ninth Step” in the Johnson The- atre ¢I»‘< TUPSDAY 35$? 7p.m. the University Chorus and Wind E Ensemble present a Holiday Con- cert ¢I’¢ 7:30 p.m. Men’s bas- ketball in the Warner Center 35¢ 9 p.m. “The Ninth Step” 51*? WEDNESDAY 1%: 6 p.m. Men’s and women’s swimming $5 THURSDAY *3? 8 p.m. have to when you get home 35¢ By Hollister Hovey W0?-L0 Aios1>A~i.1?t=‘a l= 1?/me \/ SPEND A SUMMER WORKING IN THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS OF MONTANA >l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<>l<*, PRIME MONTANA GUEST RANCH WILL SOON BE RECRUITING ITS STAFF FOR THE 1998 SUMMER SEASON. BOTH WELL MOTIVATED UNDERGRADUATED AND GRADUATING SENIORS WHO DO NOT HAVE SPECIFIC FALL PLANS ARE ‘ENCOURAGED TO INTERVIEW FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY. REPRESENTATIVES FROM ELK CANYON RANCH WILL BE ON CAMPUS WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4TH TO CONDUCT INTERVIEWS. PLEASE CONTACT AMY HITLIN OF THE CAREER DEVELOPMENT OFFICE IN MATTINGLY HOUSE FOR INFORMATION, INSTRUCTIONS, AN APPLICATION, AND AN INTERVIEW APPOINTMENT. l«lvLL‘/woovt .//A WAIaHiNé'PN ‘lt Lee... Gifts Always presentable’ CRABTREE 8: EVELYN” available at: 22 West Washington St. Downtown Lexington 464-3625 Mon—Sat. IO-5pm Sun 12pm-3pm